Shadow's Inner Sanctum II
by PeeweeWolf
Summary: We are all aware that our teens years are nothing but drama and hardship. But you haven't seen anything yet.
1. Chapter 1

**As you can see by the title this is ****_Shadow's Inner Sanctum 2. _For those of you who would like to read this but have never read part one, then here's a quick summary: ****James Maslow (of Big Time Rush) saves an abused little boy named Shadow. It sounds like the boy is safe now and everything's okay, right? However, Alaric, the man who hurt Shadow, is nowhere to be found.**

**I wasn't sure if I should label this as a BTR fanfic or misc or whatever since it's mostly about Shadow, but I went ahead and did since they are characters in this story. **

**I am going to try to post a new chapter more often instead of only every Friday. REMEMBER: The story takes place around 7 years into the future. Now Shadow is fourteen, and a lot of things have changed...Enjoy! Please review!**

* * *

_March 23rd_

_Shadow's POV:_

"Come here...Or I'll come get you..."

His voice always brought a chill down my spine. I inhaled sharply and immediately sprung up from the bed in pure terror.

"GET OUT O-!" I heard someone holler, and I quickly realized it was me. I stopped without even thinking so I could gasp for air.

I heard the door burst open, and before I knew it, Dad was at my side in a heartbeat. I felt four paws on me and then felt a lick. Fox.

He knew I was just having yet another nightmare. "It's okay," He whispered as he began rubbing circles on my back to calm me down, "It's okay, it's okay, it's okay..."

I realized I was sweating and shaking.

"Shadow, it's okay. He's gone."

"No, he's not." I breathed, trying to hold back tears. I looked up at him, but it was so dark I honestly couldn't.

A moment later, he stopped rubbing my back and chuckled. "What're you talking ab-"

"He's still out there. We're not safe! Haven't you realized he could come through our door and get us any _moment_?!"

"It's been seven years, Kiddo. He's probably dead by now."

"Dead?"

"Yeah. I mean, if he grew that beard of his out long enough, he could hang himself."

I stopped stroking Fox's back and quivered at the thought of seeing Alaric's face again. Dead or alive.

"Why don't you sleep with me and Fox tonight?"

I wanted to, but at the same time I refused. I always had nightmares when I slept in my bed alone. However, when I slept with Dad I felt more safe. Therefore having less nightmares, at least I think so. But I wanted to show him that I'm _fourteen_ and am capable of sleeping in my own bed.

"No, thank you. I'm fine. Really, Dad."

He stared at me for a long time with a concerned look on his face. He sighed. "Alright. But you're welcome to sleep with me."

He gave me a kiss on the head and walked to the doorway. "Fox." He called gently. Fox dashed off the bed and ran to Dad's side before he closed the door. "Night."

I rolled over to look at the clock. I groaned at the sight of 4:03AM. I had two more hours before I would have to get up and get ready for hell.

I lay my head back on the pillow. My hair stuck to my sweaty neck and face and I groaned again.

_It has been seven years...a lot has changed...maybe he's changed. Aw shut up, Shadow._

It was true that a lot of things did change. I am fourteen now, Fox is eight, and Dad is almost thirty.

I'm in the 8th grade, and I actually got to skip the 4th grade. I can't believe that when I was almost 7, I didn't know how to read. Like at all. And now, I'm one of the smartest kids at Springview. How did that happen?! I've asked myself that nearly everyday. But it sucked to be omniscient, because being beat the crap out of was where it got you to. Or maybe being beat the crap out of was because I dress like Andy Biersack? I still couldn't quite figure it out.

Fox hardly changed at all. He's still 8 pounds and still barked at his own shadow. However, his coat was now a mixture of black and gray. A while back, Carlos decided to grow his hair out. It's actually kinda cool. When I turned ten, Carlos and Alexa got married, and nearly a year later, they had a little girl named Myriam Lynn Pena. Their band Big Time Rush ended three years ago, but the four of them were still best friends. Now Dad was staring in a horror film titled _Devil's Angels 2 _that's crowned the number one movie out right now. Unfortunately, he's been very busy lately so I only see him at night.

_So many things have changed..._

My eyes fixed on the clock again, and I sighed. I decided it wasn't worth it trying to go back to sleep. I got up and trudged to the bathroom to wash my face and wake up a little. I could start working on that practice-set in algebra Mr. Walker assigned us.

I stepped into the bathroom and squinted when I turned on the light. I looked around, and the memories began to seep back into my mind.

_Dad reached for the denim straps and slipped them down my arms. "Holy sh-" He gasped. I heard a sound like he fell or something, but I didn't turn around. The room went completely silent, and I didn't like it. I flinched when I felt Dad ease the overalls down my legs. I felt two warm hands on my shoulders and he swung me around._

_"Who..." He sounded scared. He put his hand on the bottom of my chin and lifted it; looking into my eyes. I had never felt so awkward and so- so not knowing what he was going to do._

_"Who did this to you?"_

My eyes grew darker. I didn't want to think about memories right now. One door opened to another, and more memories, unfortunately, flooded through and brought grave pain like pouring bleach down my throat. I felt violated again from them.

I turned the sink's blue knob and splashed my face. The water ran down my neck and onto my shirt and I quickly dried off my neck and face. I pulled out my little, cardboard black box from the bathroom cabinet and pulled out the liquid foundation. I squeezed out a drop and rubbed it over the bruise on my left cheek and the one above my right eyebrow. It still hurt to the touch, but it was healing much quicker as time progressed. I had to put makeup over the bruises so Dad wouldn't see and worry about me.

_Stupid Colten, stupid Candice, stupid Jeffrey..._


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm sorry this one is short! But the next chapter will be much longer!**

* * *

_One week earlier_

_Narrator's POV:_

Alaric Davis found his younger brother, Daniel, drinking moonshine on a sunny day off the old balcony of his apartment, long vines dead in color wrapping itself around it. Alaric was surprised that the balcony hadn't collapsed from under him.

He came to ask _Daniel_ for money. Daniel! He was already homeless and number one most wanted in Los Angeles for murder, sexual assault of a minor- the list goes on. Could he possibly get any lower? Yes, he can.

Daniel Davis was surprisingly a rich man. He used to work for a company that sold television parts. Having received so much success after 30 long restless years, he retired early. He used a bit of his money to party and purchase alcohol and cigars regularly- possessions he dearly loved that'd eventually kill him if he kept on. Unlike frankly anyone else in his family, Daniel was a saver. However, that didn't exactly click with Alaric. If you don't spend your money, it's as if you never received the money in the first place. Instead, it would be sitting in your wallet, collecting dust. Yet, that was the exact benefit of having a brother like Daniel- if you needed money, by God he had it.

He noticed Alaric and surprisement washed over him. Daniel gave a creepy smirk, flashing his pointy teeth that were the color of the dead vines. It made Alaric's stomach roll, watching him smile down at him.

"Hey, big brother. Say, where's that fine little piece of tail you got?" He was asking about Ashley.

"She dead, Daniel."

"Did her daddy know you'd kill his little girl? You killed her, didn't ya big brother?" He sat up from his chair and his eyes were fixed on him, that big awful smirk still planted on his face.

"I didn't, dickhead." He glared up at him, teeth clenched, and surprised at how Daniel immediately started taking to him and accusing him of things.

"Horseshit! You knocked that bitch up and then killed her!"

"Fuck! Daniel, keep it down-"

"If Mama and the old man could see you now!"

Alaric kept his voice steady because Daniel's fuse was short. He was swaying while he laughed and Alaric hated him.

He watched as beads of sweat from the heat dripped down Daniel's face. "Was she any good?"

He couldn't feel his legs. He hadn't felt this vulnerable around Daniel since they lived together. Daniel took another swig and wiped his mouth before talking again in that raspy voice of his. "You are a weak-gutted thing, big brother. You should've brought your whore up here to be with me."

That was the last straw. Alaric immediately decided not to fool with Daniel. But if he had his gun with him, boy would he use it. He let the rising anger stay bottled up and simply turned around and trudged away. He could hear Daniel behind him. "Look at you! Noth'n but horseshit!"

The anger was boiling up inside of him. If Shadow had not run out seven years ago, if that James asshole hadn't come up to the shack, he wouldn't have to be running from the law. It made him even angrier every time he heard James Maslow's name, which was common now that he was staring in that major film. His life was more than over now, and it was all because of them- the ones who are living just happy and peachy lives while even the ashes of Alaric's happiness were burnt. He had thought about doing something drastic to change that years ago, but he never committed to it. But now it was as clear as day to Alaric. He was breathing murderous threats and fury now. It was time for the Maslows' lives to come to an end.


	3. Chapter 3

**Bare with me about Shadow being smart. I try to make him use advanced vocabulary throughout the story since he is a very intelligent character. But it's difficult with my un-advanced vocab. :P**

* * *

_Monday Morning_

_Shadow's POV:_

I finished the practice-set in no time flat, and I was a whole hour ahead of my usual morning schedule. I grabbed an Atreyu shirt and jeans from my closet and put them on. I threw on my jacket and slid on my black fingerless gloves, spike bracelets and hooked on my black foxtail on the back of my jeans. Then, I slid on the fake lip piercing. I loved fooling everybody; everyone believeing it was a real piercing, and I didn't even have to poke a hole through my flesh. I quickly brushed my messy hair and put on my shoes. I snatched my blue backpack and ran down the stairs.

_Maybe I can walk to school today. _I thought, just praying that could be true.

Dad could never drive me to school because he had to get to work, and he didn't want me walking to school because he thought it was too dangerous or something. I had to use the bus, and I've hated every moment trying to dodge flying crumbled papers and caustic remarks. I've only walked to school without him knowing a couple times, but that was in the 6th grade.

"Dad, may I go to Lian's till the bus comes? She asked me for help on her science project!" I lied.

"You think she's even awake?" He asked as he walked down the stairs.

"Yeah, she just texted me. I couldn't get back to sleep after the dream. I thought that since I'm awake and that she's awake, now's a good time."

He shrugged. "Alright then. Good luck. Love you." He ruffled my hair before opening the front door for me.

_I can't believe how easily that worked. He's so gullible. _I walked out of the driveway and onto the sidewalk. The overgrown flora hung over the street like an umbrella, so it was tough to see the sun rising. As I ambled along, I stared at the California poppies on the ground and brushed my hand against the leaves from its low-hanging branches. While kicking pebbles and cigarette butts out of my path, my mind went in all sorts of directions, mostly hoping Alaric was far away from me.

After for what seemed like an eternity, I left the sidewalk's path and ran over a knoll and saw the school from a distance. I had ten more minutes to get to school and get the books I needed from my locker. I sprinted the rest of the way and slowed down as I went inside. I stopped to catch my breath and my bones felt ten pounds heavier. Plus, I couldn't stop yawning.

The array of school looked peaceful. But not in the hallways. I peered around the corner of the hallway where my locker was. There was a din of chatter along with the sounds of lockers opening and shutting. The light was flickering in the hallway too which was odd. Other students were too busy with their own friends to notice me. I was shoved out of people's way a few times, but I didn't want to say anything to draw attention.

But then it was too late. I felt hands on my back and I was shoved into the orange lockers. Bang! I was most likely trapped. I turned around and lo and behold- Colten Bannerman from the football team and Oliver Byrd.

_Crap._

"Watch where you're walkin', fag. That rag on your ass got in my way." Oliver said as Colten yanked the foxtail downward and brought me down to the ground. I hated it when they cuss. It reminds me of Alaric, so I never do.

I felt my head hit the floor and heard a loud thump. My hand involuntarily gripped my head, and I felt dizzy. I heard students around us laughing. I looked up at them, "I'm not changing who I am for you jerks."

_Crap, why did I just say that?!_

I shrieked in pain when I felt Richard kick me. My stomach tensed up and pain shot through me. The pain wouldn't go away and I clasped my stomach and lay there in humiliation. I heard them walking away, and that's what I wanted most right now. I felt people step over me and heard a few chuckles. If they were chuckling at me or something else I did not know. I lay there waiting for the pain in my stomach and head to subside while my mind kept repeating, _Why did I just say that?! Why did I just day that?! Why did I just say that?!_

"Shadow?" I recognized that voice.

"Lian?" I yawned her name without realizing and looked up at her, squinting from the flickering light.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes," I breathed.

"Are you taking a nap?"

"No. Can you get my books for me?"

"If you were okay, you could do it yourself."

"Lian..."

She said okay and tried to help me up. I struggled to stand. I slid right back down to the ground.

"Shadow, we have two minutes before the bell rings." She looked concerned for me but walked over to my locker. "Combination?"

"5...14...10."

Lian opened it and pulled out my science book and binder. "Here."

"Thanks." I said, taking them as I tried to get up. I was able to stand, but my stomach hurt like hell.

We walked into class and just as we sat down, me sitting in the very back of course, the bell rang.

"Alright, class. I graded your tests, and I'll pass them out at the end of the period." Mrs. Marks, my science and homeroom teacher, stated as she closed the door. "We're staring a new unit. Turn to page 298. Today, we'll be discussing evolution."

I raised my eyebrow at that word, mouthing "what." How could they teach such a thing?

"Does anyone know the definition of evolution? ...Dena."

"Isn't it, like, the changing of an organism over a period of time?"

Mrs. Marks nodded. "The book'll give us a better definition."

She asked one of the guys in the front to start reading, and the book went on about the Hyracotherium, the Pakicetus, gradualism, and Darwin. I kept zoning in and out because of my throbbing headache, and I was getting tired of listening to them read about this.

_This is all wrong. They're all lies! I have to show them..._

"You see, embryonic recapitulation is when at various stages during an embryo's development, it resembles different adult forms of many evolutionary ancestors in sequence. Ernst Haeckel popularized recapitulation, and he called it the 'biogenetic law.' Some evolutionists say that human embryos have gill slits, tails, and yolk sacs that prove evolution." Mrs. Marks said.

I raised my hand. "Mrs. Marks, may I say something?"

"Does it have to do with this lesson?"

I nodded and she let me speak. All of the students' eyes were on me, and it made me begin to sweat a little. I held my head still in pain as I spoke. "They're...not really what they appear to be. The "gill slits" are pharyngeal arches. These arches are actually just folds of tissue. They only develop into breathing organs in fish. In humans, they actually form parts of the jaw, ear, and several endocrine glands. Evolutionary ideas aren't proven by scientific ev-"

She chuckled. "Then why would they be in our textbooks? Mr. Maslow, what you're saying is nothing but yo-"

"Nothing but the truth." I interrupted her.

She stared at me long and hard, but she seemed calm. "You will not disrupt class like this. We're lerning about evolution, not about your personal opinion. Princaple Kimsey's office. Now."

"Wha-" I stopped in midair and glared at her. I grabbed my binder, book, and pencil and powerwalked toward the door with all eyes still on me. I felt myself suddenly stop and my footing on the ground was gone. I crashed to the floor and I landed on my science book and all my other possessions went flying. Then came the laughter and the groan from the teacher.

I was tripped.

I slowly turned my head, seeing Oliver's leg stretched out across the aisle.

My eyes glassed over as I groped for my stuff.

I was out of there faster than the fox who had my foxtail.


	4. Chapter 4

_Shadow's POV:_

I went to my locker first and put all my things inside it. I rubbed my red eyes and slammed the locker shut with a loud bang. I stood against it and looked up at the flickering light.

_I may be in trouble here, Lord, but I know I did something good in Your eyes. And that's all that really matters..._

I really wanted to get my razorblade out at the moment, but I decided I needed to suck it up. I just needed to get through the day. I walked down the hallway and to the front of the school building. I opened the tall, heavy doors that led you into Mrs. Kimsey's office. My feet bagan to drag against the tile floor as I opened it. I slid in and sat down in one of the chairs. The office had fancy decor. The lights were dim, the chairs were tenné club chairs. The sound of the filter from the fish tank to the right of me made my stress levels calm down a bit. But only a little bit.

The woman with bleach blonde hair asked what I needed, and I told her I needed to see Mrs. Kimsey.

After a few minutes, she said that Mrs. Kimsey was ready to see me. I thanked her and walked into her office. I had never been into her office before except for once last year. Dad saw my black eye when I came home to school one day. He didn't believe me when I told him I got hit in the eye with a baseball, which was weird of him to suspect I was lying because, well, he's gullible. He talked to Mrs. Kimsey, and she promised Dad that the bullying would stop. However, I'm still waiting for that day to come.

Mrs. Kimsey was a friendly, pretty woman with curly blonde hair and glasses and would usually wear her favorite color- purple. Even her attire made me feel a little overdressed. I couldn't tell if she liked me, but I knew she didn't like the way I dress. "Shadow, hello. How are you?" She said with a smile as she put a book into her desk.

_How am I? Today I've been called names, pulled to the ground, kicked, tripped, and laughed at and you dare ask if I am in a good mood?_

"N- Not so good, ma'am..."

She motioned for me to sit down.

"I got a text from Mrs. Marks. Apparently you disrupted class. Is she correct?"

"Well, ahh...t- to her maybe. B- But-" My voice was getting higher and I shrugged.

"Why don't you explain to me what happened."

"Okay. Today we started a new unit about evolution. We were reading about it, and on page...304? I don't remember, but we got to embryonic recapitulation- when apparently at several stages during an embryo's development, it resembles different adult forms of evolutionary ancestors. Some evolutionists say that human embryos have 'gill slits,' 'yolk sacs,' and 'tails'. I asked her if I could say something about embryonic recapitulation. She gave me permission, and I explained that they are actually mislabeled just to support evolution. I explained what they actually are, and she asked me how they'd be misnamed if we were learning about them in a textbook. She said- she said something like,'what you are talking about is nothing but.' Then I inturrupted her and said that it was nothing but the truth. Then she told me to come see you."

"My, my, Shadow. I gotta say whether you believe in evolution or not, you sure know a lot about it."

"I like to learn. Plus, I had to learn a bit about it last year...Mrs. Kimsey, what they are teaching in there are all lies!"

"Shadow, Shadow, calm down. We all have different opinions on things, but you shouldn't disrupt our educational system."

"But Mrs. Kimsey-"

She had a hypnotic look in her eyes. The purple eyeshadow made her looking at you almost mysterious. "Detention."

"...Wha-? Detention?"

"Don't worry. It's only for today after school. I'll phone your father."

"D- Dad?"

Suddenly, the bell rang, meaning I'd have to go to history class now.

"You're free to go, Shadow. You'll go straight to Mr. Walker's classroom after school. Comprendere?"

"Yes, ma'am?"

She smiled, handing me a blue slip of paper. "Good boy."

I got up and quickly got out of there, my foxtail nearly getting caught in the door.

_I've never gotten in trouble at school before, or with Dad. At least I don't think I have. What will Dad think when he finds out? Who else will be in detention?_

I swallowed hard and it felt like I was swllowed knives. I took a shakey breath. Probably those jerks who bully me the most. Why did it feel like my world was crashing down all at once?

_Calm down, Shadow. You've been through worse..._

* * *

Apparently I had gotten a 101 on my science test.

History flew by fast.

I got a 98 on my algebra homework. The rest of class was a bore.

My stomach ached too much to eat during lunch. I hung out in the bathroom like I always do till lunch ends.

Grammar and literature took my mind off of detention until I found out Jeffrey would have detention for lifting up a girl's shirt and bra during lunch. I sighed. Was getting detention his hobby?

PE was hell considering that I limped the half mile we had to run.

I had five more minutes till detention. I felt for the razor blade in my backpack and walked towards the bathroom.

"Hey!" I heard an angry voice yell towards my direction and I jumped. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears as I turned around to see Mrs. Marks.

"Yes ma'am?"

She yanked me towards her by my shoulder and walked me towards Mr. Walker's classroom. "You're supposed to be in detention, young man."

I didn't say anything because I knew it wouldn't solve anything and tried to hold back tears. I mentally kicked myself. Why am I so freak'n sensitive?!

I opened the door to where detention was held and reluctantly thanked her. Mrs. Marks was the type of woman who always wanted things her way.

I closed it behind me, and it felt like everything sounded...clouded? It was as if I had water in my ears.

Mr. Jones, who was my English and Literature teacher in the 6th grade, was thumbing through a book. He looked up at me. "Hi, Shadow. May I help you?"

I handed him the blue slip and he looked at it like it was a bomb. "Take a seat" was all he said to me after reading it. I assumed he was just surprised.

* * *

As soon as I heard the little timer on Mr. Jones's desk go off, I dashed out of there. Well, I kinda limped out of there thanks to the lasting pain in my stomach. I knew that Logan Pitts and Samantha and Oliver would be coming out of there at any second. I powerwalked towards the front doors of the school until my powerwalking-dazed trance was disturbed by the sight of Dad waiting at the doorway.

His face didn't look...angry, nor sad, nor happy- not even bewilderment. Instead, he was simply...staring at me. Lips pressed together, shoulders baack, eyes like Mrs. Kimsey's. He stood as a 6' 2'' calm-looking statue.

I stopped and looked up at him, not saying a thing.

"Let's go," He said, barely audible. He lay his hand on my back and we walked to his car, neither of us saying a word. I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to start a conversation right now. But it was eating away at me not to be having one.

After a few minutes of driving, he spoke. "All Princaple Kimsey told me was that you disrupted class and that I should pick you up at 5. She's very vague..." He sounded chilled and not angry. Weird.

"I don't believe I disrupted class at all. Mrs. Marks just doesn't want to hear the truth." Now I would have to explain to Dad what happened. I already explained what happened once today, and I didn't feel like talking about it again.

"Truth? Did you call her something?" We stopped at a red light and he looked over at me in bewilderment, "What happened?"

I sighed. "She was teaching evolution in class today. I raised my hand for permission to speak. Then I told her, including the class, that embryonic recapitulation was a false belief about evolution. I explained why it was- with facts! When she told me I was speaking nonsense, I inturrupted her and told her it was nothing but the truth...and then...yeah."

I heard Dad sigh as his right hand gripped the steering wheel.

"You're not mad at me...right?"

His voice was soft. "Why would I be mad? I'm actually proud of you."

"Really?"

He nodded and the light turned green. "You stood up for what you believe in. You proved them wrong so they wouldn't know a lie for the rest of their lives."

"If they were even listening in class. It was pretty boring."

He chuckled. "Yeah."

His voice was still soft and it concerned me. "You sure you're not mad or something?"

He shrugged. "At our educational system? Yes."

I breathed in in relief. My voice was soft. "Yeah."

The silence was loud for the rest of the ride home.


	5. Chapter 5

_Tuesday Morning_

_Shadow's POV:_

"The sound of blood gushing from my ears is the only way to drown out the hateful remarks of my foes."

"Damn. That's deep." Lian laughed.

"You think so?"

"Yeah. Just make it rhymn and it's poety."

I nodded and laughed too. That sentence randomly popped up out of nowhere in my head. It'd probably be true.

Lian leaned onto my backpack as the bus made a sharp turn onto another road. She looked out at the gloomy, cloudy sky. She began tapping at her pants with her fingers. "So are you going to Joseph's party Saturday night?"

I shook my head, not meeting her eyes. "'Don't think anyone would want me there."

"What? Who wouldn't-" Lian paused. Nevermind.

She tried changing the subject minutes later. "How's your head?"

"Better, but it hurts when I touch it right here." I motioned toward a certain area on the back of my head.

"What about your tummy?"

"My stomach's fine now. Thanks for asking."

"No problem..."

"What?"

"Why did you have to speak out in class like that?" Lian asked. It looked like she wanted to get that question off of her chest.

"I corrected the teacher. That's all. Evolution's nothing but odious false beliefs. You know that. It's like we're learn'n about a tv show based on an ancient fantasy land."

"It's not like your side of how the world was created is true either." Her voice was stiff and firm.

I raised an eyebrow and looked at her in confusion. "You mean about how God created it?"

"That's Christianity, idin'it?"

I didn't reply. I was taken back by this. _Lian...Lian isn't a Christian? _All this time I thought she was. I asked her once when I was ten, and she said yes. Whatever happened to that ten year old girl? For some peculiar reason, this bothered me.

"...How can I make you believe again?"

"Again?"

"Yeah! Remember when we were ten, and you said you were a Christian?"

She shrugged. "I don't remember that."

"I do."

She shrugged again and turned her head, facing the window and watching cars go by.

"W- Why don't you come over Friday. In the evening maybe? We could- could read the Bible."

She looked at me like I was stupid. "I told you I'm n-"

"But I just- please? I want you to learn about Him. I want-"

"I got plans."

"Do it for me?"

She stared at me long and hard as if I owned her and was keeping her as a prisoner. Her face softened. She nodded and mouthed the word "fine". She rubbed her tired eyes and turned back around to watch the cars.

The bus slowly pulled to a stop once at the school. Although we were sitting near the front, I waited for the other students to pass. I didn't want to be tripped, pushed, or called names again. If the bus driver was deaf and blind, they'd probably beat me up. I felt Colten and Kaitlyn smack me in the back of the head as they exited the bus. I balled up my hands into fists and my knuckles turned white. But there was nothing I could do about them.

"C'mon, Shadow. Let's get going. Ignore them." Lian prodded me to stand, but I finally did once everyone was off. She sighed in defeat.

Everyone had to go to the cafeteria before being dismissed at 7:50 to our lockers. We had to be in class by 8. Lian began talking about some anime she watched last week, but I was too busy looking at the clock above the cafeteria doors. I inturrupted her. "It's 7:41."

"...Yup..."

"Maybe I can go ahead 'n get my books and get to class earlier."

"You can't do that."

"I can try."

"I know you can _try, _but you're not _allowed._ Besides, are you really gonna skip breakfast?"

I chuckled. "It'll be okay." I told her as I patted her shoulder and walked off to my locker. "See you in science."

"O- Okay?" She said, giving me a funny look before her tiny form ambled off into the cafeteria.

We all knew that Mrs. Marks normally arrives at eight instead of earlier like she's supposed to. As long as no teacher entered the room for the next nine minutes, I'd be okay. I hated breaking the rules, but I knew it would be worth it. Hopefully. I felt my stomach and my throat tense up as I powerwalked up the hallway, not meeting any person's eyes.

"5...14...10." I carefully opened my locker and switched out the books I had in my backpack for the science ones. I took a quick glance at my locker- pictures of heavy metal/screamo bands no bigger than 4 by 5 inches. I slowly closed it and hurried into her classroom.

I looked around the room. It looked so much more peaceful empty and quiet. Even if students were in here not making a single peep, it would still be more peaceful without them. The rows of desks weren't completely striaght and there were a few folded papers that were notes trying to be passed to another student but never got to them. However, the dimmed lights made it all perfect.

The air conditioner kicked on as I flipped on the lights and walked to my favorite desk in the back row. Chilly air immediately greeted my face and fingers (the only parts of my body that weren't covered in black attire). I lay my stuff on the wobbly desk. _That's funny. My desk was never wobbly. They must've switched mine with another._

My nerves calmed down as I stared at my hands pittling with a pencil in my lap. _Now no one'll have to deal with me in the cafeteria or in the hallway, and I won't have to deal with them. Maybe I could do this more o- _My thoughts were disturbed when I faintly heard footsteps.

"Young man?" There in the doorway was a teacher I didn't recognize. Who was he? He was obviously a teacher. He had a beerbelly covered by a plaid buttoned-up shirt tucked into khakis. He had graying hair around his head but was bald at the top. He was tall but I was tall too. He appeared to be a gentle, friendly man. But his tone of voice begged to differ.

"What're you doing in- wait. Aren't you that James Maslow's kid?"

"Y- Yes sir."

"So _you're _the one who proved embryonic recapulation wrong?"

I answered his last question with a question, wondering if he believed in evolution or not. "Don't you wish that Jennings guy won the Scopes 'monkey' trial?"

I could see a flash of confusion and revulsion in his eyes. "Pardon?"

"You're a teacher, right? Surely you're familiar with the Scopes trial of 1925." I looked pretty confident on the outside. But if there was any given moment to disappear into thin air, it would be now.

He tensed up and glared at me which made my stomach lurch. "You're not supposed to be here and I am well aware of that. Get to the cafeteria before I keelhaul you. Get!" I wasn't sure what "keelhaul" meant, but I didn't want to stick around and find out. After all, it didn't sound like an innocent, mild word. I grabbed my things and held them close to my chest as I quickly got out of there. I didn't look at Mr. Whatshisface as I left because I knew he was staring daggers at me. I was nearly running to the cafeteria until Mr. Whatshisface hollered at me to walk. I wanted to bust him in the chops so bad, the- nevermind. Threatening him in my mind wouldn't solve anything. I stuffed my science materials into my backpack and involuntarily pulled out my money. School food for breakfast. Yummy.

I felt two strong hands on my back and I suddenly felt a gush of air. The next thing I knew, my body was against the cold orange lockers, the three slits on the bottom of the lockers making an imprint on my cheek. Pain seized me once again but everything was happening too fast to react. I whipped around to see Colten, Oliver, Jackson, and Alice. Jackson, a seventh grader yet the bulkiest kid at Springview, snatched the five dollars from my right hand.

"Hey, that's mine!" I growled, attempting to charge after him.

Bad idea.

Whack!

I couldn't breathe form the pain and the fact that I knew what would be coming. It felt like a nail drilled into the middle of my forehead. I fell to the cold floor but fortunately hands first. Then chest. Then head. My head felt a thousand pounds heavier and my eyesight became a little fuzzy for a few seconds. I heard laughter behind me.

"Going without one meal won't change anything about Cadaverous here." I heard Alice's voice. All of a sudden I felt a kick to the stomach and the wind knocked out of me. I grabbed my already-bruised area as the pain in my head began to subside.

_They're inevitable. _I thought, so tired.

It took me a few seconds to realize I hadn't been breathing. I opened my mouth and gasped for air, my heartbeat racing at a scary pace. I whimpered in pain and heard footsteps fading.

I felt like what they said- nothing but a dead corpse. I've always wanted to commit suicide, but I've been too afraid to. But now I honestly feel like I've already done it.


	6. Chapter 6

**A few months ago I went to my friend's house. She's Asian and her home environment is very similar to what I made Lian's. We had dumplings for lunch while I was there and omfg they are the best food ever! They're expensive but delicious! :)**

* * *

Lian's_ POV:_

Everytime I blinked, Shadow's despondent face would appear in my head. Shadow Maslow...Shadow...even the name is depressing. But it's pretty.

We both stepped off the bus. It was raining but we always ignored it whenever it did. Feeling lightheaded, I asked him if he wanted to come to my house because my mother was having dumplings for dinner. He loves dumplings. However, he declined and disappeared- out of my sight he was.

This morning when I saw him in science, he looked like he was phisically in pain. I didn't see his face during science or algebra. His long, long curly black hair draped down to hide his face from the world around him. He didn't talk to me the entire day at school, and he hardly said a word on the bus. It scared me even though he's been like this before. Many times before in fact. Weekly. I only have science, algebra, and lunch with him. But Shadow always eats in the bathroom alone during lunch so its just science and algebra really. However, he didn't get his lunch in the line today. He simply limped straight to the stalls.

_What happened to him today? What did they do to mentally hurt him to this extent? _I thought.

I've complained to Mrs. Kimsey and the guidance councelor about Shadow being bullied for so long, but she believes that all of the students, well most of them, are like angels. She says "boys'll be boys" and they've given so many excuses. I've just given up. I remember guys like Colten, Oliver, and Richard _used _to be like angels when they were little, but not anymore.

_Maybe Shadow was thinking about the memories of being with Allen. Oh, what's that man's name...Alfred? Alec? Aaron?_

I was so worried about Shadow I prayed to God, whom I don't believe in. I knew that it would make Shadow happy, so I prayed.

I opened the cumbersome, tall front door to my house and slipped off my sneakers. I closed the door behind me and locked it, leaning against it. My head felt dizzy and I hoped I wouldn't swoon from exhaustion.

"Lian-!" I could hear my mother in the kitchen babbling in Chinese but I could never understand her. As I trudged by the kitchen door when I entered the dining room, I smelt a whiff of dumplings and sushi- a dinner favorite in the Zhang household and even in the Maslow household next door. I lay my backpack down by the chair I normally sit in during dinner. I looked around the same dinning room I've seen everyday since I was born, and everything has always been the same about it: fancy, foreign-looking plants, red ribbon hanging above us, and the long banner above the kitchen door. It was in Chinese, and Mom told me it said "The Zhang Family".

The napkins, plates, chopsticks, and Asian spoons were already laid out which was peculiar because I was normally the one who set the table. I saw my favorite chopsticks where I sit; the pink and blue ones with bunnies on it. Mom knows me too well.

"When's Dad coming home?"

"He called five minutes ago. Said he's on his way."

I nodded. I unzipped my backpack and got out my history homework on Egyptian pyramids. I pushed my utensils for dinner to the side and got to work. I stopped when I heard loud footsteps stomping down the stairs and obnoxious laughter. I groaned and cursed under my breath. Oden.

He came charging after me like an energetic ram. Oden held a stupid action figure in his hand, making an obnoxious _vroom _sound while managing a toothy grin on his face at the same time. Stupid. I had no earthly idea why, but Mom wanted to have another child five years ago. Because I dearly hoped that Mom would have a girl, it was a boy (and Oden Zhang was the best at acting like the little boy he was). I try not to have a hatred toward him, but it can be hard sometimes.

"Lian's home!"

I sighed. "Yes. Like I am everyday at 4:30. Please go play somewhere else, O. I'm busy."

He put his hands behind his back and began rocking back and forth on his feet. "Isn't today report card day at your school?!"

My head felt tense and dizzy with a hint of feeling like I wanted to throw up.

"Oh yes that's right, Lian. You're starting you're last nine weeks tomorrow, aren't you?" Mom hollered from the kitchen.

I glared at Oden and had a tight grip on his scrawny wrist. "Shut up!" I hissed. The little boy simply looked up into my firey eyes and flashed me his cheesy smile.

"Y- Yes, Mom." I replied, trying with every ounce I had to restrain myself from kicking Oden. I should've expected Oden to do something idiotic like that. After all, on rare occasions I believe that I did something wrong and Oden is my punishment.

I rummaged through my backpack for my report card. It would probably be better for Mom to look at it and sign it now before Dad got home. I heard the clacking from Mom's sandals and sure enough there she was- standing beside me and stretching out her left hand with a blue pen in the other. My throat became dry once the tan, smooth envelope brushed across the pads of my fingertips. I pulled out the envelope and reluctantly handed it to her.

"Lemme see, Mommy. I wanna see!"

"Now, now, Oden. This doesn't concern you. Put the doll of your's away and go wash up for dinner. Tell Miley dinner's ready too." Mom said.

"Is notta doll, it's an action-"

"Yeah, action figure. That. Go." She shooed him off with her hand. Oden stomped up the stairs, but I knew he'd be eavesdropping from up there. I actually taught him that. Somehow and for some reason I did.

As Mom read down the report card, concern and disappointment became increasingly evident on her face.

"Algebra 1- C. Science- A. History- C. English- B. Chorus- B minus. Lian! This is unacceptable! Look at this. Your sister, Belle, used to have straight A+'s before she went to college! Why can't you make the effort like Belle?! Or Miley?! You believe me- your father is not gonna be happy 'bout this!" She signed it in her sloppy handwriting and slammed the pen down in front of me, making me flinch. After she handed me back my report card, she stomped off into the kitchen. I slumped and sunk deep down into my chair. A heavy tension rose in the air. I could just feel the anger coming off her body like a heater.

"It's not that hard to make good grades...I always got straight A's. Belle got A's. Your father...got A's." She mumbled and then sighed heavily. I wasn't sure if she was talking to me. I could barely hear what she said. She began mumbling more crap in Chinese, and I could hear Belle's name in between all that jumbled mess. I heard her throw something away in the trash and the refrigerator door opening and closing before she spoke to me in English.

"I may have to consider summer school for you, Lian."

My heart stopped. _No. Not summer school! _I thought. _How boring, unnecessary, and humiliating! My whole family would find out!_

"I warned you to keep your grades up."

"But Mom-" I couldn't argue any longer because I could hear Oden and Miley running down the stairs.

"Miley, where are your slippers?!"

"Upstairs."

"Go put them on. Now." Mom's voice was firm. _Looks like I put Mom in a shitty mood._

"I swear, we should move back. It'd knock some sense into you." Mom said as she laid a bowl of dumplings on the dining room table. I wasn't sure if she was talking to me or Miley.

My throat tensed up and I rubbed my tired and watery eyes. My parents always made me feel lower than dirt whenever I disappointed them with sucky grades. I didn't care much about school, but I wanted my family's approval. It was hard to win it with me, Oden, Miley, and Belle (before she went off to college) living under the same roof.

Oden sat at his usual seat and pittled with his chopsticks. Miley, my seventeen-year-old cousin, twirled her hair with her fingers and ran to her chair, spitting her gum into a napkin before waving hello to me. I waved back and put my homework away.

When Dad got home a couple minutes later, everyone chattered about their day all at once and the dining room was bustling with activity. Silverware made tapping sounds when it hit a plate, arms were reaching across the table for seconds. I, however, remained still and silent. I wasn't hungry anyway. I felt dizzy from the tiredness again and held my head in my hands as I listened to the laughs and cheerful conversations that were buzzing around me. I knew this was going to be a long evening- especially once Dad would find out about my grades.


	7. Chapter 7

_Narrator's POV:_

Thirty-two-year-old Carter Walton was not a gregarious man. But how could such a man be friends with Alaric?

They're both evil.

Now it makes sense. Walton was his youngest yet most impulsive acquaintance. Alaric had never seen so many crimes committed by the same man.

Walton knew Alaric like the back of his hand. He knew Alaric Davis was also an impulsive man, if not sadistic and physco. He knew exactly what he had done to his son in an isolated shack in the hills seven years ago. However, he was willing to help out an old friend (as long as money was involved).

Standing six feet tall, he was a gaunt man- so skinny that his ribs were visible if he lifted up his shirt. He had auburn hair and deep, big brown eyes. You would almost never suspect that he was a killer, and one who enjoyed to kill. But Walton was agile with a gun, and he had a firecracker laugh that would remind you that this lanky youngster belongs to the devil.

Walton's father, a former prison administrator, died before he was born. His mother remarried to a proud, sophisticated man who fought in the army, making him a great role model. Two months after Walton turned 21, he joined the US Marine Corps. It was in late October four years later when he met face-to-face with his true hobby. He was at a local bar and ordered a stiff whiskey. While at the bar, he was confronted by a small party of taller, older marines all with more muscle. They mocked his scrawny and haggard appearance- a haunting memory that Carter Walton will never forget. The mocking led to pushing and the theft of his drink. This hurt Walton so bad that he was holding back tears. So he did the unthinkable. The one who Walton considered the ring leader of all this was thirty-nine-year-old Don Jones, and that night in an alley nearby, Walton took Don Jones's last breath. He found much entertainment in murdering him.

Although Walton had been in jail on numerous occasions ever since and had been a suspect for many murder cases, he had never been caught for the majority of his crimes due to his craftiness and stealth.

Surprisingly, a week later, Alaric Davis managed to get $10,000 from Daniel into his filthy grasp. He gave it all to Walton in return for him to carry out Alaric's plan.

Now what will happen next (or in the end for that matter) is anyone's guess.

* * *

_Shadow's POV:_

As soon as I got home, I went into the bathroom and touched my face. It still hurt. After the punch, even blinking hurt. Fortunately, that pain died down and my headache went away by the time I got to the bus. I got down to work on covering up the bruises, crying in the process. I got my razor from my nightstand droor and made three slits horizontally on my wrist. I dabbed it with toilet paper and waited for it to stop bleeding before I pulled the sleeve of my jacket back down.

All I had tonight was my usual algebra homework. Once I completed it, it was 6:10PM. Dad would be home any minute.

I walked into the kitchen and preheated the broiler. Then I put the ingredients into a bowl and began to stir. My wrists stung when I stirred but I ignored it like always. I heard the _click-clack_ of paws against the tile. I felt a little furry bottom sitting on top of my right foot. I looked down and saw Fox looking back up at me. His eyes were on begging mode.

"You don't even know what I'm making, silly." I said, bending down to pet him. My voice wasn't lively towards Fox like it normally is. It was soft, low, and quivering.

I heard Dad coming through the front door. Fox didn't even run over to greet him.

"Yo!" He greeted me as he walked into the kitchen. "Oh, so _this _is why Fox didn't say hello to me, eh?"

I chuckled. "Hey."

"Watcha up to?"

"I finished my homework early so I thought I'd go ahead and start dinner."

He walked over towards us and patted Fox's head and my shoulder. "You're a real help, kiddo. Thanks."

I smiled back.

"I can take it from here-"

"No it's fine. I'm almost done."

"Carlos texted me on my way home. He said he's gonna come visit."

"Right now?"

"'Said he's on his way. He just finished the table read. Since he'll be out of town Thursday, he wanted to go ahead and come today. You go sit down and relax, you look like you need it. Did you have a bad day?" He said as he took the bowl and continued the stirring.

"No, everything was fine." I answered, getting out the pan and cooking spray for him.

I went into my room, got Mama's Bible, and waited for Carlos to come.

* * *

We were twenty minutes into reading Acts (although we started where we had left off last time, on chapter twenty-one).

Carlos looked tired. I secretly wished that he had just gone home and rested. He had a big day in Chicago tomorrow. However, Carlos decided to use his hours that he could've used for extra sleep for reading with me. I thought it was nice of him, but was _I_ really that important to him?

"This is the chapter where the snake bites him." Carlos said with a little smile. Not because of the fact that Paul was bitten by a snake, but the fact that the barbarians thought he was a god because he didn't get killed by the snakebite.

While we ate dinner (I picked at mine), I read the first three verses of Acts 28, but my mind was somewhere else. My concentration on my thoughts were disturbed when I heard Carlos tell Fox not to try and lick his plate. "Your dog food's in the kitchen, Fox." But Fox sat there next to him, his tail wagging and his eyes still in begging mode. "No, Fox." Carlos repeated.

Carlos read the next three verses, but I stopped him on verse 5.


	8. Chapter 8

**I apologize for this chapter being so short...but anywho, please enjoy and review! :)**

* * *

_Shadow's POV:_

"Carlos..."

He looked up at me. "Hm?"

I was trying to put my thoughts to words. "Do you...people can...people can change...right? I mean, Paul changed."

"Yes, I believe so." He was wondering where I was getting at.

"Well...what if...do you ever think that," my voice got low, "Alaric could ever change?" I hadn't said his name out loud for as long as I could remember. It felt weird to say it.

Carlos sighed. I could read on his face that he was leading towards no. "I honestly can't picture it, Sh-"

"But Paul _persecuted the Church_! But then look. He changed in chapter nine and now he was an apostle!"

"I wouldn't stress on it too much, bud. Some things are too good to be- Fox, what'd I tell you?! This is my food, lil' critter."

"...But don't you think he could ever change?"

"I'm not saying he couldn't, but I wouldn't get my hopes up. Who knows, maybe he's dead by now anyway."

We left it at that, and he continued reading. I followed along and read when it was my turn, but I wasn't paying attention one bit. It hurt me to know that Alaric is somewhere out there- full of hate, anger, and just plain sin. He _could _change if only he made the effort to. And he _could _change if someone were to help him.

_I sure as hell am not going to be the one to try 'n help him. _Was my immediate thought. But then my next immediate thought was different. It denied the first thought. Yeah sure, if I was _able _to help him, I would. But Alaric is dangerous- he needs to be locked up. We need to stay as far away from him as possible, and he still scares the hell out of me.

Still. The thought lingered in my mind for the rest of the Bible reading with Carlos.

After we finished Acts, Carlos talked with Dad for about ten minutes before he left. It was 6:50 when he did. The entire time I was still thinking about Alaric without even noticing myself doing so. I almost forgot about my report card. I went to go get it and brought it to Dad.

"I got straight A's again." I told him as he peeled the seal flap and pulled the paper out.

He analyzed it before speaking. "Good job, Shadow. I'm really proud of you!" The last time I got a B was in the 5th grade, so I probably didn't have to tell  
him anyway.

"Nine more weeks and you'll be a freshman. Time goes by so fast, doesn't it?" He said as he signed it, the pen cap hanging in his mouth. He put the cap back on the pen and then handed the report card back to me.

"It certainly does." I murmured. Dad would always tell me that bad memories take time to heal, but it's been seven years and the bad memories have not yet healed.

I went up to my room to put the report card back in my backpack. When I came back down, I found Dad watching TV, stretched out on the couch. We watched TV together nearly every night. He patted the space beside him, and I involuntarily slipped off my shoes and lied down beside him. I was 5'8", almost up to Dad's height now. Whenever I was 7 or 8 I would have to look up at him to say something while we were watching TV. But now I just had to turn my head. Fox scurried to the living room and jumped on the couch and curled up on the other side of Dad. I wasn't paying attention to what was on, still thinking about Alaric although I really didn't want to. I started thinking about Mama and the shack. Then I realized: to this day, I still have no idea why Mama named me Shadow.

"Maybe because you're like a ninja. You do good things, but you stay in the shadows." Lian.

"Because the name is so pretty and handsome- like you!" Grandma.

All of those things were true to me. I looked up at Dad, my eyes half open. "Why do you think Mama named me Shadow?"

Dad thought for a moment. "Maybe 'cause you're like everyone's shadow. When someone needs a hand, you're right there to help 'em. You're a good kid."

I smiled a little. "I- I never thought of it like that."

"Why? Why do you think she named you Shadow?"

I wasn't even sure. I shrugged.

"What would _you_ have named me?"

"Hm...L'Chickaneshia."

I laughed at such an odd word. "No you wouldn't!"

He laughed too. "Probably Trevor."

"I like that name." I was satisfied.

Fifteen minutes into watching TV, I started to get tired. I've always had long, hard days at school, and I was never this tired by 8. But somehow today took a toll on me, and I turned on my side and nuzzled my face in between Dad's upper arm and side and let my hand rest on his chest.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yes, I'm fine. Just tired."

"No...I mean at school. Is everything okay?"

"Yes. Why wouldn't it be?" I quickly replied back.

"I don't know..."

"Dad, everything's fine at school. Trust me." I lied.

He sighed. "Okay."

My eyes were growing heavier and heavier, and I yawned. I felt so comfortable laying here where everything was so cozy and placid. I wanted to sleep in this spot forever and never have to get up the next morning for school.

_The cadaver closed his eyes and fell asleep, awaiting the next day to come. _Was my last thought before I fell into a deep sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

_Shadow's POV:_

_I was sitting on a log, my feet on the leaf-coated ground and my hands clutching my knees. In fact, there were two other logs in front of me- the one on my left halfway covered in moss. The three logs formed a triangle, and in the middle there was an unlit campfire. The front of me felt warm, but the back side felt cold. Plus, there was a warm light surrounding me like a dome. It was as if the fire was lit, but it was naked to the human eye. My senses jolted and I quickly glanced around for anyone. I was alone. I looked up. The sky was gray. I looked down at myself. My hands were a ghostly white, and my clothes were an ash gray. The only way my brain could grasp the fact that I was in a dream was because I was in a forest._

_I heard the occasional chirping of a bird and the trees' leaves rustling in the wind. Other than that, everything was quiet and everything was still. Everything was peaceful. It was dark, but peaceful. This time, nothing happened in my vivid dream. No one was there to try and kill me or anything..._

_"I like it hear." I whispered, barely audible. I could sit here forever. No one could harm me, and I was alone. I wanted to sit here forever. My mind shifted to the fact that I'd have to get up and continue with my life in fear of Alaric and in fear of school- my hell on earth and every demon as students and even teachers._

_A noise suddenly ra_ng in my ears. The dark environment surrounding me instantly went away like a blow to the head.

_Where are the t-_ I sat up. I was in my room. The alarm clock continued to make its loathsome noise. I shifted my eyes to see that it was 6AM. I looked around, trying to get my thoughts together.

_Oh yeah, it was a dream. _I thought. I tried thinking back to last night. Didn't I fall asleep on the couch? Dad must've carried me to my room. Did he even set my alarm clock for me too? I know I didn't last night.

I yawned and pushed the covers back. "I want to go back." I breathed. It didn't feel like my dream lasted long. I opened my nightstand droor and pulled out my razorblade. I ran to the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I lifted up my sleeve and pressed the blade against my wrist. I moved it across and hissed from the pain. I squinted my eyes and my knuckles turned white when I balled up my hands into fists. I exhaled long and slow, sliding down the bathroom door till I hit the floor. _I want to go back._

I watched as the warm crimson trickled down my arm. I felt lightheaded and tired. I was too tired and too used to this to cry. I quickly sprang up to my feet though. I knew I had to get ready for school, and I needed to hurry or else I'd miss the bus. I put pressure on the cut using toilet paper and covered it with a few band-aides. I pulled my sleeve down and looked at myself in the mirror before I unlocked the bathroom door and left.

When I opened the door, Fox was there in a perfect pose with his tongue hanging out of his mouth, waiting for attention. I smiled. I patted his head and rubbed his back. "I wish you could come to school with me."

I was too tired to take a shower and get re-dressed, so I decided to wear what I had on from yesterday. I went downstairs and ate a bowl of cereal in the kitchen, waiting till the bus would eventually arrive. When it did, I met Lian in the bus and finally coincided to Lain's pleads to sit near the back. She didn't even notice that I was wearing the same clothes from yesterday. When we reached the school, it was 7:35; The bus was somehow early.

"I already ate at home," I told her as we walked out the bus, "I'll just head to the stalls."

I turned around but felt her hand on my shoulder holding me back. She turned me back around. "No, stay. It's boring in there and I want you to have fun and hang out with me in the cafeteria." The wind kept catching her hair, making her sway her hair behind her shoulder and pushing it back every few seconds.

"I'll have to decline. I never 'have fun' in the cafeteria, and you know that. Besides, you can...," I shrugged, "hang out with your other friends."

She glared at me and crossed her arms. "No. What the Asian says goes."

"But they'll make fun of me and call me the 'antichrist'-" I whined, putting air-quotes around the word.

"No they won't." She grabbed me by the wrist, planning to lead me inside. I yelped and quickly pulled my arm away.

She looked up at me. "You alright?"

I stared down at her tacitly.

"What's wrong with your wrist?" She reached for my left arm and got a tight hold on my jacket.

"Noth-!"

"Who's that?" We heard someone behind us ask to her friends. We turned to look at her and looked back to where she was pointing. Thirty feet away stood a red-haired, young man around my height with his hands in his pockets. It almost looked as if he was hiding behind the brick wall that linked to the school entrance. He wasn't doing anything except simply standing there and staring over in our direction (which caught our attention). Now I was in no doubt vigilant.

"You think he dropped somebody off?" A girl near us (I think her name was Dana Barns) whispered to her friends.

"Then why'd he still be here?" A guy replied back, not seeming too concerned.

I knitted my eyebrows at the sight of this man. The way his eyes were watching us and how still he was brought a shiver down my spine.

"Why is he staring at us?" I whispered to Lian.

"...Us? I think he's staring at _you._"

I felt a quick, painful burning sensation in my chest that caused me to gasp. "Me?! Why me?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's because you're the only student out here who looks like Nikki Sixx with a foxtail!"

Her statement made me feel a little better. Yeah, maybe that is why he's staring at me. It _did _make sense. But we looked away, and I occasionally glanced back. He was still staring at me! He was too far away to tell his facial expression though.

It wasn't everyday at Springview Middle that mysterious men watched the students as if they were prey...or that _this _particular man was staring right at _me._

"Oh c'mon. You don't think he's really..." It couldn't be true.

"Go walk inside and don't look at him. I'll let you know when I get to the cafeteria if he was watching you walk inside too." Lian whispered in my ear a few seconds later.

I nodded, hoisted my backpack onto my shoulder, and started a straight, fast pace towards the entrance, keeping my head down. My hair made a curtain around me.

But I couldn't pry my eyes away from the curiosity- what does this man's face look like? Is he mad or curious or happy? Is he still staring at me?

I couldn't bare not looking any longer. I was opening the door and he was merely 6 or 7 feet away to my right. Ignoring Lian's orders, I slowly glanced up to look at him. My stomach lurched.

Sure enough, he was still staring at me. Just me, and no one else. Our gazes met, and I was terrified. His face had a mixture of danger and curiosity. He had brown eyes and pale skin. His features were perfectly aligned, having a sharp nose and bright amaranth-colored lips pursed. He had a dark look, dressed in natural yet depressing colors.

I raised my eyebrows in surprisement and quickly looked away.

I had a feeling in my gut that I was going to be in hot water**(*)** with this man.

* * *

**(*)- I tried using the idiom "in hot water" meaning that your in trouble. I'm not sure if I used it well in this sentence though, but you all know what I mean. :P**


	10. Chapter 10

_Early morning; Thursday_

_Narrator's POV:_

They were both in an alley in, of course, a dangerous part of downtown LA. The powder-blue sky is so fresh and clear and the breeze is so cool and pure it feels it's blowing straight down from Heaven.

"You what?!"Alaric had Walton by the collar of his shirt, Walton desperately clawing at him, trying to push him away.

"There were people around him! You don't under-"

Alaric slammed him up against the brick wall. The impact of Walton's head hitting the concrete made him dizzy momentarily.

Alaric's eyes are like deep pools of blazing fire. "You had a chance! He was right th-"

"Reconnaissance!" Walton cried, "Reconnaissance!"

"What the fuck are you blabbering about?!"

Walton's heavy breathing made it difficult for him to speak. "Reconn...aissance...locating and research. I- I can't just shoot them, you see? I have to make my plan..."

"Whatever your plan is, make it quick!" Alaric ordered, loosening his grip and unpinning him from the wall.

"I must have a strategy in order not to get caught." Walton explained. Alaric knew that if Walton did get sent to jail, his immediate action was to rat Alaric out, claiming that he was in all this too.

"You have two weeks, Carter. Don't fail me."

"Don't push me. I already have a plan in progress, and you have two weeks to try 'n keep your cool, hothead." Walton could feel the anger off of him. As soon as his update with Alaric was over, he was gone.

* * *

_Friday_

_Shadow's POV:_

The sun began going down, drizzles of yellow yearning to shine through my bedroom window. I opened the blinds, and out of nowhere _buzz_! A housefly escaped prison in between the window pane and closed blinds only to enter it's new awaiting prison- the mouth of an Alaskan Klee Kia.

"Fox. That's disgusting...but impressive." I said to him with a smile. I kissed his little head after he hopped into my lap. I rested my chin on top of his head, searching for answers on my laptop.

"Ugghh...none of these people look like him." I complained to Fox. I was on the school website, trying to find a photo that might match the man's.

"Hm. So that man wasn't a teacher..." I said, lifting my chin to rub it like detectives did back in the day. Every time I started to wonder and even panic about who that man at the entrance Wednesday morning was, Lian's words swam through my mind. At first, I thought to myself _Maybe she's right. My clothes do...stick out from everyone else's...and I'll admit- so does my hair. _But then I remembered the way he looked at me. He definitely wasn't friendly. Or polite either.

I decided not to tell Dad about this. He would either tell me not to stress about it or would do something drastic to figure out who he was. Dad is a laid-back kinda person, but he knows when to be serious too.

I could just imagine Fox saying, "You shouldn't worry about it too much, Shadow."

No. Instead, I could actually imagine him saying something more like, "You shouldn't worry about it too much, Shadow. You should be focusing all your attention on _me_."

My taste buds were crying out, trying to convince me I was famished. But my stomach knew I should wait an hour or two. I was indecisive.

"What should I do, Fox?" I asked him, looking into those blue-and-black eyes and receiving a lick in return.

"You should give all the food to me." Would be his simple answer if he could talk.

I closed the window on my laptop, made him get off my lap, and headed to the kitchen.

"I swear, Shadow," Dad muttered without looking up from peeling the shrimp, "The price for shrimp was highway robbery. I don't know if I'm gonna buy anymore shrimp for a while. You hungry?"

"I think so." I replied, trying to see what the time was on the microwave from the other side of the kitchen. "It's 5:35! Lian should've been here by now."

"Maybe she's running a bit late. You know how she is. I'm almost finished peeling the shrimp. After dinner, if she hasn't come yet, you can call her."

I sighed. "I guess your right. But...maybe I should text her."

Dad shrugged.

I pulled out my phone and texted her **R u comin?**

About ten minutes later, she answered while we were eating. **Y**

I growled. "May I be excused?!"

"You don't have to ask to be excused. Go ahead."

I stood up and trudged up to my room, already going through 'contacts' on my phone and searching down the row for her name.

After it rang twice, she answered. "Hello?"

I was standing in the middle of my room, jaw clenched and eyes wide. "Do you remember Tuesday?"

She sounded as if she had just woken up from a nap. "...I..think so."

"Then you would've remembered that I invited you to come over fifteen minutes ago."

I heard her gasp. "Oh yeah..."

"You don't remember that. Do you."

"...Not at all..." At least she was being honest.

"Lian!"

"I'm sorry!"

"I know you don't even care, and that's fine. But you know what? If you won't come to the Bible, I'm going to bring the Bible to you." I pointed in front of me enthusiastically as if I was talking to her in person.

"You're crazy."

I hung up. I grabbed the heavy red book from my bookshelf and stuffed it in my backpack so I wouldn't forget it Monday morning. I was determined for Lian to at least _see _a Bible.


	11. Chapter 11

_Monday_

_Lian's POV:_

The sky was like a gray, floating ocean. Just when the bus doors were about to close, I saw Shadow sprint up the steps and quickly sit down beside me. The bus already began moving again so it was more of falling into the seat than sitting.

"Smooth, Shadow, smooth." He could hardly hear my sarcasm over the bus' engine roaring, the thunder, and the din of chatter around us.

"Heyy." He replied, adjusting himself into a sitting position.

"Ew, Shads, you're wet!"

"Yeah, it's called rain."

"You look thrilled to bits. What's up with you? I hardly ever see you like this."

"I told you," He said as he unzipped his blue backpack and pulled out a Bible, "I'm bringing the Bible to you."

"Yeah, yeah. I already told you I know what happens in it. 'First God said let there be light-' and blah, blah, blah."

"You may know, but you don't believe."

"But evolution-"

"Evolutionary ideas are as stupid as the men and women who think them up." He interrupted, flipping to the ten commandments.

"So is this Bible thing."

"God wouldn't lie to us, Lian. Everything that is in this book is real and has been fulfilled. For evolution, there is no evidence that proves those ideas to be true and evolutionary ideas constantly change. Now, let's start off with Genesis 1:26 which states..." He began talking about the image of God or something and I was wondering how many more school days he was going to bring the Bible to school. But his information did make sense and it was tough to debate it.

I thought that he would only be talking to me about Christianity on the ride to school, but that's apparently not at all the case. While we were at our lockers before science, he passed me a note with the Ten Commandments on it. Normally, I would take that as an insult as if I wasn't following it or something. But I knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to teach me. After reading the first four, I looked over at him. He had a big, warm smile. I smiled back, then put the folded paper in my locker. Then in science, he would murmur about the Gospel to me every freak'n moment Mrs. Marks turned her back. By then, only a fake smile was on my face. At first I thought it was cute that he was going to all of this trouble. But as time went on, it got annoying. In algebra, he managed to keep his mouth closed and stayed focus. When lunch rolled around, he didn't go to the stalls. Instead, he talked to me. Now I would have to spend the ride home on the bus with him. Ugh. As I walked to Chorus class, I started to think about how content Shadow was. With all this shit that has happened to him, as soon as you mention something about the Bible, he's genuinely happy. I couldn't believe it. But at the same time...I could.

* * *

_Shadow's POV:_

I walked into the gym and laid my backpack outside the locker rooms like we were told. I unzipped it and rummaged through for my gym clothes. I rushed into the locker room for a stall and got dressed. I tried running out but was pushed into the wall.

"Watch it, Maslow. You could knock somebody over." Colten said. I could hear his friends laughing behind him.

I wanted to tell him to shut up, but I knew that that'd be a big mistake. I glared at him. I ignored the pain in my right shoulder and continued to sprint till I was out.

Fortunately, we had dodgeball today. It sounds bad, but all I had to do was get hit once and then I could sit at the bleachers and watch for the majority of the time. I was thankful, because I had the athletic skills of a moose with no limbs.

The gym was booming with sound. It was raining hard outside, but you could barely hear it with all the ruckus of happy hollering and dodge balls striking. I began to wonder what Lian was thinking right now. Have I been pestering her all day? I shrugged it off, and I began thinking about the man at the school entrance even though I didn't want to. I rubbed my right arm; the aching feeling seeped down through my arm. I didn't want to look at my arm. It was probably as bright as a tomato or was already bruising.

I broke out of my little trance when I saw everyone heading to their backpacks. Then the bell rang. I sprinted over to mine and listened to everyone talking at once as I lifted mine up. I looked down at it, noticing something was wrong. I didn't see a square corner bulging from the front pocket of my backpack where the Bible should be. I walked over to the bleachers and set it down in front of me. I unzipped the front pocket, my heart racing. Mama's Bible wasn't there. I could feel myself already seating. I quickly unzipped the top lid, almost breaking off the zipper itself. I quickly rummaged through it, my fingers skimming across each folder and textbook. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no..." A wave of terror washed over me. "Where is it?" I whimpered, barely audible. _It was right there! In the front pocket! I remember putting it in there after lunch! _I ran over to where my backpack was sitting against the wall and scrutinized the area.

"Is there something wrong, Shadow?" Coach McCray asked.

"I think I lost something," I said the words I never wanted to ever say when on the subject of my mother's Bible. "May I go check in the locker room?"

He nodded, and I sprinted into the locker room only to find out that it wasn't in there.

I knew I would miss the bus if I checked my locker, the cafeteria, and the lost & found first. But I knew what was more important. I'd much rather walk home in the rain than lose the last thing I have left of my mother.

I powerwalked all the way to my locker, and I could feel my throat swell up when I didn't find it in there either. It felt like I had been there an hour, just searching through the orange locker.

_I bet Lian may have it...Lian's gotta have it with her... _My failed attempts to calm myself down as I walked to the cafeteria.

I opened the double doors to the lunchroom. One of the cafeteria ladies looked at me funny, probably because I should be on a bus home right now. I eyes the vast, open room for any shade of red. From my peripheral vision the lady walking away, ignoring me.

If it wasn't in the lost & found, and if Lian didn't have it, then it must've been stolen. But who on earth would do such a thing?

The lost & found was at the very back of the school. In fact, it was outside against the wall near the path to the soccer field. I'd probably get wet depending on the way the wind was blowing, but I knew it didn't matter since I probably just missed my bus. I was too focused on getting to the lost & found to call Lian. I still tried to control myself, trying to keep my feet from running and my eyes from leaking.

I ran the last few steps and opened the back door. The smell of cigarette smoke wafted to my nostrils.

I turned my head to see three bulky guys and a slimmer, shorter girl- two of them were smoking. I nearly had a heart attack when one of the smokers moved into the light from the sun desperately trying to shine through the clouds.

"Colten...you smoke?"

At first, Colten looked at me in confusion, then annoyance. The other three followed his gaze and saw me. The other three were Oliver, Leslie Smith, and Jeffrey.

"Oliver..." I breathed. I gripped my backpack handle tighter

Oliver smirked and tapped the ash off his cigarette before speaking. "Looking for something, faggot?"

At first I was confused to how he knew I was missing something. Then it hit me. My heart was galloping. My eyes widened and the tears began to fall. It felt as if he had stabbed Mom herself. Anger burst open inside me, anger and hatred I had never felt so powerfully toward another person (other than Alaric).

"Where is it?!"

I could hear Leslie and Jeffrey snickering. Colten chuckled. "What the hell is he talk-"

I threw my backpack down and charged after Oliver. "Where is it, Oliver?! Where is it! Where the fuck is it?!" I hollered at him as Oliver pushed me back and Jeffrey tried to pin my arms behind my back.

Colten looked as if he was waiting for his surprise reward at a game show. "What did you hide from him?"

Tears were dripping from my cheeks and I was panting, even shaking.

"Oh, you mean this ol' stack of paper?" Oliver swung his book bag to his side, opened it, and pulled out the Bible.

"That's mine!" I cried, desperately trying to break away from Jeffrey's grasp. I didn't care if they beat the crap out of me- I didn't care if I beat the crap out of them! That belonged to me, not Oliver.

Colten was still confused. Apparently he had nothing to do with stealing it. "Is that a Bible?"

"Yeah." Leslie and Colten watched as Oliver waved the Bible in front of me and pulled it away every time I lunged for it.

"Oliver! Please!" I begged. I could hardly see, my vision was so clouded with tears.

Oliver dropped his cigarette butt and stomped on it. I lost my footing and felt Jeffrey push me. I landed in the muddy, cold ground. I ignored the fact that I was soaked to the bone and got back up. I lunged for the Bible again but felt Colten grab me by the arm. He dropped his cigarette and yanked me toward his chest. I winced, expecting what would come next.

"Alright, Oliver, you've had your fun. Now give the fag his book back."

My head was pounding as I slowly opened my eyes. _Did he seriously just..._

The three of them looked at him in disgust. After a few moments passed, Oliver finally laid the book down at our feet. "You call us when you're cool again." Oliver said as he walked passed us and towards the door, hitting his shoulder in the process. I could of sworn Leslie called Colten a bastard as she and Jeffrey followed behind Oliver, but I felt so out of it that I was unable to confirm.

That left just Colten and I, me still pulled to his chest. I could feel his chest rise, and I knew he was angry with me.

"You give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you right now." He whispered into my long, black hair through clenched teeth.

More tears rolled down my face. Getting beaten up was the last thing on my mind. It felt as if Oliver had just reminded me that I'm nothing but a cadaver. My throat began to swell up. "Th- That Bible is the- the last thing I have left of my mother. And- And Oliver was gonna take that away from me..." I said, choking back sobs.

Colten stared at me for a moment before pushing me back to the wet ground. "Then- Then you better keep a closer eye on your stuff." Was all he said as he started for the door.


	12. Chapter 12

Shadow's_ POV:_

I ran as fast as my legs could take me through the pouring rain. I tried shielding my backpack with my stomach as I ran, but it wasn't helping very much. When I finally reached the front porch, I nearly collapsed. I unlocked the door with my house key. The house was dark as usual, but Fox didn't come to greet me.

_He's probably hiding somewhere from the thunder. _I didn't think much about it after that. After all, I had loads of other stuff on my mind. I had to dry off and change, figure out a way to dry my backpack, pray that my books are dry, do my homework, and I needed my razorblade most of all.

I walked to the kitchen and set my backpack down on the counter. I glanced at the time on the microwave- almost 4PM.

The bottom of all the books, including the Bible, were wet, but I was still able to turn the pages thank God.

I work at getting changed into dry pajamas and drying off my backpack with towels. I laid out my books on the dining room table to the pages I was assigned. I grabbed my Bible and set it back onto the shelf and pulled out my blade from my nightstand droor. I slid down the side of the bed and onto the floor. I lifted up my left sleeve and picked at a few scabs on my arm from past cuttings. I pulled my legs towards my chest.

"I'm sorry, Mama..." I murmured, lifting my blade up to my wrist and slowly making my mark. I didn't wince or hiss from pain. I deserve this. I almost lost my mother's Bible- one of the things she loved most. So many thoughts were swarming through my head. I was so tired but I had so much to do.

_Just go to sleep. _I thought as I wiped the blood off the blade using tissues. I dabbed at my wrist, ignoring the stinging feeling. I put the blade away and lazily fell onto my bed. I got under the covers, rolled down my sleeve, and began to drift, slowly crossing over to my dream world away from every problem in reality.

* * *

It felt as if there was a wall of fog. My brain was having trouble breaking through it, yet I kept on hearing my name being called.

I finally opened my eyes. I didn't hear the heavy rain and thunder anymore. Dad was gently shaking me. "Shadow, you up?" He whispered.

I reluctantly nodded. "What time is it?" I honestly didn't want to know but I needed to.

"Five after six. I'm sorry I woke you up. But when I came home, I didn't see Fox."

"He didn't greet me when I cam home either." I sat up, becoming more alert. I tried pushing away the annoyance of my sleep being disturbed.

"Why didn't you look for him?" He asked.

"I- I was thinking he was probably hiding somewhere because of the thunder. I just had so much on my mind. I felt so busy and then I got really tired and wanted to take a nap. I'm sorry..."

"It's okay, son. I'll go find him. You can go back to sleep."

"No it's fine, I'll help you. I need to get up anyway." I said as I pushed back the covers.

"Have you been crying?"

I felt tense. "No. Why?"

He stared at my face. "Uh- nevermind. I've had a long day, I guess."

We both walked out of my room. I kept my wrist close to my body because it still stung. After we find Fox, I needed to get to my homework.

We looked in every room, banging our hands, whistling (or for me at least attempting to), and calling his name. I walked out to the backyard and called for him. Dad and I ran to the embankment and he yelled out for him. My heart was hammering because I knew something has happened to Fox. We both look at each other in worry. Our legs wobbled as we walked back into the house. Fox is gone. I knew it but I didn't want to imagine why and how. This day just keeps getting worse and worse.

"I don't get it! When we left, he was on the couch. How could he leave when all the doors are locked? I'm sure he's here somewhere...I'll go check under my covers." Dad said as he ran up to his room.

I didn't want Dad to sense what's inside me or feel the terror that's sitting on my chest. If he's not in here, and if he didn't run away somehow, than how could he disappear? No one could manage to steal Fox, right? That's quixotic. I mean why hurt my dog? Plus, an eight-year-old dog isn't that old. I can't even imagine him dead somewhere in the house. I bury my face into my hands and sound like a child, sobbing. I feel anger picking away at my skin.

Dad must've heard me; he came back down and put his arm around me, trying to talk to me to make me feel better.

"I...I don't want to go to school tomorrow."

"And you don't have to," Dad said as he unhooked his arm around me and patted me on the back, "Aside from Fox missing, you look like you've had a rough day."

I nodded. I felt a moment of relief. Half of me wanted to call Lian and ask for her help in the search for Fox. The other half of me just wanted to go to sleep so I could escape all this drama. But to be honest, I wasn't sure if I could get back to sleep. Dad said he would start dinner and I walked into my room to get my phone. I explained everything- starting from losing the Bible to now, but leaving out the self harming part.

"Fox can't be gone!"

I sighed heavily. My voice was shaking. "He is. I don't know why."

"You want me to help you look for him?"

I knew that whatever my answer to that would be, she would already be outside looking for him. "I think I'm just going to go to bed, Lian. Th- Thanks anyway."

I hung up the phone and walked out onto the deck where Dad was grilling chicken. "I wanna sleep with you tonight. Is that okay?"

"That's fine." Dad said, barely audible. It looked as if all color had been drained out of him. I couldn't even remember the last time he was this upset. I just wanted to go die in a hole.

_Fox, please come home._


	13. Chapter 13

_April 1st, Wednesday evening_

_Shadow's POV:_

After the storm comes the calm (or at least I think that's what they say). The sky was a beautiful baby blue and I could hear katydids outside my house. I got home from school, finished my English homework, ate a sandwich, and downloaded an old Black Veil Brides album. I was trying to keep my spirits up the entire day although it was tough. I skipped lunch, but I spent that time getting most of my homework and makeup work done. Fox was still missing, but we were going to have lasagna tonight. Okay, I know Fox is more important than lasagna...but help me out here.

I sprawled out onto the couch, pondering about that suspicious man from last Wednesday. I wondered where he was now and what he was doing. But I decided to take him out of my brain. He isn't worth my thinking. And then there was Colten Bannerman, who surprisingly didn't harass me at all today. I was hoping everyday from now on would be like today between me and him. _Does he have pity for me now or something?_

I heard the door knob of the front door jiggle at around 5 o'clock. I quickly sat up, frightened. The next thing I knew, Dad came staggering through the door with a large box. "Help me!"

I ran for the other end of the box and helped him haul it to the kitchen. Once my arms felt like pudding, we dropped it in the middle of the floor.

"How come you're home early? 'N what's in this box?" I asked as I stretched and rubbed my shoulders.

I could make out the creases on Dad's forehead and his weary, empty eyes that he is either stressed or had a long, rough day. Or both. "Today I had a dentist appointment at 8:30 and then a bunch of interviews lined up." Dad lifted the flaps, revealing cards, black roses (some fake, some real), and stuffed animals (most of them were dogs).

"This," he continued, "is from fans. I tweeted that Fox was missing...and yeah."

I sifted through all of the stuff, grateful that more people care about Dad and I than I thought. "Wow..."

Dad sighed heavily and stood there momentarily, watching me. "So how was your day?"

"It was alright."

"Good. Anyway, I need you to take off all your jewlrey and your foxtail. We have a guest tonight."

I wasn't sure if he was finished talking, but I couldn't help but cut him off either way. "A guest? Who?"

"James."

I was confused. Dad's name is James. Then it hit me like a hammer on a nail. "You mean Jaime?!"

Dad nodded.

I became pale and tense. "That _Jaime _who tried to _kidnap_ me when I was six?! That _Jaime _who _beat _the snot outta you?!"

Dad rested his hands on my shoulders. "It's okay, Shadow. Calm down. I can explain-"

I fell into him, resting my head inbetween his neck and shoulder. It looked as if I had given him a clumsy hug.

"I knew you wouldn't like this." He muttered.

"Then why did you invite him over for dinner?"

"Remember when I auditioned for _Sportchaser, _that new TV how?"

"Yeah."

"Well, turns out I got the part as Derek, one of the main characters. And it turns out Jaime also got a lead role in the show. I figured that if we're going to be working together now, then we might as well not get on the wrong foot. Besides, I think he's changed. He regrets what he did, and I think he wants to be our friend again. Who am I to stand in his way, right?"

"I understand...but I still don't trust him."

"That's okay. And I know you'll be on your best behavior, because you always are." He patted my back and broke away from my clumsy hug. "He should be here at 7. I'll heat up the lasagna."

I thought that's a little late but I nodded and walked to my room. I looked around, still having hope that Fox would maybe pop up from out the covers or come running out from behind the bed. I stripped my spike bracelet, my foxtail, gloves, and necklaces off and laid them on the unmade bed.

Right now, I'd be playing with Fox instead of fighting off tears as I listened to Dad work in the kitchen. I decided to set the table since I had nothing else to do. This certainly wasn't the first time Dad has had guests over. In fact, he has guests over weekly and would even have small parties every month or so. So I knew exactly how Dad liked the order of the silverware and what plates to use. Once I set the table, I was still left with nothing to do. I took the liberty of making my bed and taking out the trash. I was yearning for something to keep my mind off of Jaime's visit and Fox and another dreadful day at school tomorrow.

"Are you sure you don't need any help, Dad?"

"Yes, kiddo. I got everything. Thank you." He replied.

I inhaled deeply and checked the time. Jaime would be here in an hour, and both of the James's would most likely make up for the rough years. But _I_ couldn't. I wasn't looking forward to this at all. Jaime would do something sneaky or start a fight. I just know it. I've forgiven him for what he did over seven years ago, but I don't trust him and I never will. I pulled out my literature book and decided to get ahead on the next lesson in the dining room.

At 6:55, Dad entered the room with a large pan of mouth-watering lasagna.

"Hungry?" He asked as he laid the pan next to the centerpiece.

I nodded my head vigorously. "Looks good."

"Well too bad. It needs to cool, so you'll just have to wait."

I made a ridiculous groaning sound, and he groaned back.

"Are you going to be friends with Jaime again?" I asked blandly as I slipped my future, finished assignment into my book and closed it.

He crossed his arms. "I hope to. Dan Schneider created this show. Thanks to high ratings, his shows last up to _five _years_._ Jaime and I are going to be working together for a long time."

I nodded, not meeting his eyes. I picked up my litrature book and went to put it away. When I came back, the doorbell rang.

"May I stay in here?!" I asked, sounding a little more deserate than I expected.

"Of course. It's okay, Shadow. I promise. And calm down; you're frozen as a statue." Dad said as he headed for the front door. I could hear Dad open it and then them greeting each other. Yup, I could still recognize Jaime's voice.

"Shadow is waiting in the dining room." Dad said to Jaime. Did Jaime ask about me?

I felt obligated to stand up and greet him since it was the polite thing to do. The second Jaime entered the room, I bolted up from my chair.

Now that I was older, I didn't look up at him. Instead, I was at his height.

"Hello, Shadow." He said kindly, shaking my hand.

"Hello." I said faintly. My volume was that of a dead rabbit's. I've always had a habit of not speaking whenever I was nervous or scared.

Dad was sitting at the far end of the table, his eyes glowing with sincerity. I was on the other end, and Jaime was sitting in between us to my right. I lifted the lid of the pan and set the giant lasagna squares on each of our plates using a plastic spatula. As I did this, Dad and Jaime were making conversation. As time went on, it went from catching up on seven years to comparing murder trials to sports tournaments. Then eating in silence. _Tap, tap, tap, tap. _The only sound other than the clattering of forks hitting their plates was the tapping coming from my heel against the tile. From the corner of my eye, I could see that Dad couldn't help but fiddle with his fingers. Using his fork, Jaime poked at his food and rearranged pieces of it around the plate. Awkward. Awkward was the best and only word to describe this dinner.

The lasagna was delicious, but I couldn't concentrate on the taste. I remained on edge, vigilant for any sign of suspicious activity although I should've kept my attention geared towards my manners. I kept forgetting to rest my left hand in my lap and not on the table.

"Hey, um, I heard their constructing a new skateboarding park by Hollenbeck." Jaime said.

"Really?" Dad asked.

"Yeah. It'll cost money to go there though. But I've seen what they've done so far. It looks pretty great."

"Ugh. Everything costs money now." Dad complained. I bet in ten years you'll have to pay for oxygen to breathe.

"Do you like to skateboard, Shadow?" Jaime asked.

"I don't do tricks. I travel though."

"Hm, cool. Maybe I could take you there once it's finished. My treat."

I looked at him. "Money 'n entertainment can't buy forgiveness, Jaime."

Jaime blinked and quickly focused his attention to his plate. Dad stopped chewing and flashed a look at me.

"Hey, I got an idea," Dad offered as he clasped his hands together on the table, "Why don't we, uh- think of someth'n. Like what's the...what's the oldest commercial you can think of that's still on. Huh?"

I was surprised that that was the best thing he could think of to break the awkwardness. I wanted to die of embarrassment, and I wasn't even the one who came up with it.

"That bowling commercial looks pretty old. So old, everything looks fuzzy." Jaime commented.

I played along. I shrugged, staring down at my plate and giving it a good thinking. "I dunno. That Tootsie Pop commercial with the owl looks pretty ancient. I saw that come on TV last week."

The three of us heard the oven buzz from in the kitchen, meaning that the garlic bread was done. "Why don't you get the garlic bread for us, Shadow." Dad said.

"Happy to, Dad." I said with a bit of sarcasm in my voice. I got up and headed for the kitchen, not trying to hear in on what they were saying in the dining room although I probably should have. I turned off the oven and slipped on oven mitts. I got the garlic bread out of the oven. Too impatient to wait for them to cool, I put them on a plate and brought them out to the dining room.

"Yeah, I bet. And I heard about Fox. I'm terribly sorry." I heard Jaime say to Dad as I entered the room.

I dropped the plate onto the table. I don't know how or why, but something clicked in my brain. I pointed at him. "You _stole _Fox, didn't you?!"

"Excuse me? I- Is this some sort of joke er-?"

"Shadow, enough!"

"You stole him! Why would you do that to us?! Where is he?!" I had to fight the urge to punch him.

Jaime leaned back in his chair and threw his hands up. He didn't say anything and the room fell silent. A heavy tension rose in the air.

Dad shook his head. "Go to your room. Now."


	14. Chapter 14

Shadow's POV:

The second the bedroom door shut behind me, I couldn't contain myself. I was in tears. There was only one thing on my mind at that moment- the blade. I just wanted everything inside me to leak out. Fox is gone and now my own father probably hates me now. I felt like a waste of space. Everyone at school believes I am. I tried to disagree with the people at school, but since Dad is angry with me and probably thinks the same, it must be true. I had to face it- I'll never be the son Dad wanted. I jerked open the nightstand droor with great force. I have never, ever been like this- so focused, so determined to want to simply soak away into the carpet. The blade happened to lie in the very center of the droor. I could hardly control my breathing. I just wanted to get this over with.

I sat down in the corner of my room, in between the end of my bed and my desk. I took a small breath and pressed hard on the middle of my forearm. I gasped and froze. I instantly felt a stabbing pain shoot in all directions from the cut after dragging the blade. I exhaled with such great force, my chest ached. Out of nowhere, I felt weak and shaky. Blood quickly emerged from the angry cut. So many thoughts and emotions were battling inside me which only made it the stronger of a reason to be doing this. There was a burning sensation in my throat and I began to gasp for air. I couldn't tell if it was from crying so much or from the pain. I pressed down and dragged it three more times. Red stickiness trickled down my arm.

My vision was becoming fuzzy. I looked up and spotted a figure in the doorway. I could barely make out the thick, gaudy, black leather jacket this figure had on. Dad didn't say anything. He probably couldn't think _what _to say. In fact, he hardly dared to breathe at all. I wanted to at least go unconscious if Dad would stop what I was trying to accomplish. I quickly looked back down and was sobbing uncontrollably. I kept going. Fighting with all my might to ignore the pain, I pressed down even deeper into my skin. I shrieked, and that must've knocked Dad out of his shock. In a blur, he ran toward me and fell to his knees. I yelled as he ripped the blade out of my right hand.

"I'm sorry, D- Dad, please. Give it back! Nooo..." I whined, spasming as he pulled me into a hug and rocked me back and forth.

I had to apologize for thrashing out at Jaime like that. Apologize for ever being _born_. I couldn't stop pleading I was sorry, but Dad kept shushing me. My ears flooded with Dad's angelic voice. "Shh...shh. I'm here. It's okay, it's okay..."

I rubbed my eyes against his shoulder and, head pounding, gazed at him for a few seconds.

Dad closed his watery eyes for a moment. "C'mon, let's get you on the bed." He said softly as he stopped rocking and broke away. The blood kept flowing from my open wounds, and hot tears continued to roll down my cheeks. But Dad managed to get me onto the bed despite how weak I was.

I knew for a fact that it'd be impossible to get the blade from him. Plus, I didn't have an extra one lying around. He could get to me before I could reach the kitchen too. All I could do now was try my best to get comfortable on the bed and attempt do deal with the excruciating pain.

I whimpered, covering my face with my hands. Thankfully my hair made a curtain around me. I refused to see the worry in Dad's eyes again.

He returned to the room moments later with gauze. He sat in front of me and gently took my hands. He wrapped gauze around my left wrist and then the right.

"This might hurt." He whispered as he put pressure on my wrists. The raging pain grew twice as strong, but it didn't last long. I asked him if he was mad at me. Little did I know he was actually crying. "I'm not mad. I'm worried about ya."

He was supposed to keep putting pressure on the wounds, but he peeled the gauze off and studied my wrists, seeing scars and scabs from past cuts. He placed the gauze back on and put pressure on the cuts. "You have to tell me when something's wrong. Otherwise, I can't help you. I don't know what's made you so depressed, but we need to nip it in the butt."

"I can't tell you. You would only make it w- worse." I looked up at him because I knew that if I didn't he'd just tell me to.

He blinked. "...What? Shadow, I live for you. You're my son. I want to make sure you're happy."

"I- I know that...but they'll just get mad at me if they get in trouble. And you- you can't make all of them get detention. It wouldn't help any."

"Who's 'them'?"

"Everyone!" I felt so messed up. I knew this needed to happen. Be that as it may, I'd rather slam my face in a car door than talk.

"Why on earth would the kids at school not like you?"

"I don't know...the way I dress. My grades. But I don't wanna...change for them. I- I'm n- not them."

Dad took his hand off my left wrist and brushed the hair out of my face. "Yes, that's right. You are who you are, and I know that. How long has this been happening?"

"5th er 6th grade."

I could see a flash of anger in his eyes. "I-" He paused. He took a deep breath. "You feel'n okay? Are you dizzy?"

"A little. I'll be fine."

"You're not going to school tomorrow."

"I figured."

"Tomorrow you're going to call Jaime and say you're sorry."

I nodded.

"And your going to sleep in my room tonight, okay? I want to keep a close eye on you for the next couple of nights."

I nodded again.

"We'll fix this, okay? I promise." Dad gave me an awkward hug, still putting pressure on my cuts. "I love you."

"I love you too." I mumbled.

Fifteen minutes later, after the blood clotted, he applied some antibiotic ointment. Next he bandaged the cuts, and told me we need to change them every day. Then, he gave me an ibuprofen and some orange juice. I could still sense that he was mad although I wasn't sure who or what he was angry at.

I didn't dare to move my wrists. They hurt like hell. I went into his room and laid down. I bet Dad was busy hiding anything and everything sharp in the kitchen. I called his name, and he was in the room in vampire speed.

"You won't tell Carlos about this when he comes over tomorrow, right?"

He leaned against the doorway and thought for a moment. "I dunno, buddy. I think he has a right to know. He's our friend."

I sighed. "I guess so."

"You going to bed?"

"Yeah. I'll brush my teeth in the morning. Bleh."

He chuckled and turned around. "Alright. I'm going to clean the dining room table then I'll head to bed too."

"Wait, Dad?"

"Hm?"

"B- By the way. You don't have to hide the scissors. Those don't work. I've tried."

He rested his hand on the doorway. His shoes were suddenly very interesting to him. He looked back up. "'Kay."


	15. Chapter 15

_Thursday evening_

_Shadow's POV:_

Carlos and Myriam, his three-year-old daughter, were at the door when Dad answered it. My wrists were still in too much pain to open it for them, so I watched them from the living room couch.

"James!" Myriam hollered as he ran into Dad's arms. Dad greeted them both and picked Myriam up. She looked so beautiful and happy, wearing a baby blue princess outfit that Carlos said she would refuse to take off. Not even for pajamas at night.

"How've you been, Carlos?" Dad asked.

"I called you yesterday."

"News can change in a day ya know." He replied. "You hungry?"

"Nah, we just ate. Myriam just had her first taco ever."

Dad gasped. "Woooaah! No way! That's awesome!" Dad said enthusiastically, making her giggle. He gave her a high-five.

"Well, sorta. She picked at it. She ate the meat first then the tortilla." Carlos said.

Dad shrugged. "Close enough."

"Close enough." Myriam repeated.

"Myriam, you want to make cookies in the kitchen? I have Mickey Mouse cookie cutters, sprinkles, and everything."

Immediately, she threw her arms up and screamed. "Cookies! Cookies! Cookies!"

"May I lick the spoon when you make the cookie dough?" I asked.

"Sure." He answered, giving me a look before carrying Myriam into the kitchen.

I sighed. "Carlos...there's something I think you should know."

He sat down across from me, setting his Bible down on the coffee table. "Oh?"

I looked back at the kitchen door to make sure Myriam wasn't around. I pulled my jacket sleeves up, and he frowned. He could already tell what's coming. I slowly peeled off he bandage on my left wrist. He leaned to get a closer look. "I see...Does your dad know about this?"

"He's the one who put the bandages on."

"Shadow, how- what's...what' up?"

"I- I think I tried to commit suicide last night. We felt like you should know since you're family." That was the first time since Wednesday night that I admitted to myself I attempted to commit suicide.

Carlos didn't believe what he was hearing. It couldn't click in his brain. I could see it in his eyes. "Shadow...why?"

"School's been rough. Plus, last night I said something that made Dad mad, and I couldn't forgive myself." I forgot that I had to call Jaime tonight. I gave myself a little reminder in my mind. "I guess it all just...got to me. Dad said he's taking me to a support group or therapy thing on Saturdays and Tuesday mornings. He's taking this hard. Much harder than me."

"...Maybe there's something in here that can help you then." Carlos said with a small smile.

I smiled back. I think I need this.

Carlos flipped to the very end of his Bible where it lists verses on hope and faith and so on.

"Psalm 27:1-3 - The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the defense of my life; Whom shall I dread? When evildoers came upon me to devour my flesh, My adversaries and my enemies, they stumbled and fell. Though a host encamp against me, My heart will not fear; Though war arise against me, In spite of this I shall be confident.

Psalm 55:22 - Cast your burden upon the LORD, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken_._

Psalm 62:5-8 - My soul, wait in silence for God only, For my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be shaken. On God my salvation and my glory rest; The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us_._"

I listened carefully as he spoke loud and clear. I felt so stupid. I never thought of that. I should've prayed. I should've given to burden to Him. I should've trusted and waited. Instead, I took matters into my own hands, and I'm still not sure if I succeeded.

"Do you still wish you were dead."

"I dunno. Not really." I whispered. Carlos was about to stand up and walk over to give me a hug, but I tried changing the subject. "But...I have some _good_ news to tell you."

Carlos closed his Bible. "I'm always up for good news. Shoot."

"Well...on Monday, I taught Lian more about the Bible and stuff. I'm hoping we can start reading together."

"That's great! I'm so proud of you. I also heard from a little bird that you got straight A's. It's no surprise though." He said, leaning across the table to give me a fist bump.

I smiled. "Thanks, Carlos. I love you."

"I love you too. You wanna keep reading?"

"I do, but Dad doesn't make cookies very often, and I like licking the spoon and what's left of the icing." I said.

"Cool. C'mon." Carlos stood up and headed for the kitchen.

Carlos and I watched Mariam mash the cookie dough and spread icing over the cookies once they were done using a butter knife.

"What color icing is this?" Dad would ask.

"Pulpwe!" She's the cutest little girl I've ever seen.

They decided to stay for dinner too, and Alexa came an hour later. We had leftover lasagna from last night. I was really glad Carlos came over today. He always puts me in an uplifting mood, even if it's just by 5%. I definitely learned something today. From now on, I'm going to leave everything to Him because I've proved to myself that I can't handle stressful situations on my own.

After dinner, I called Jaime and apologized. I was reluctant to call, but I knew I had to. It got so awkward when he apologized about the incident seven years ago, it turned my stomach into knots. Still, I was really glad we settled our problems.

I felt much happier tonight that now things were turning around for the better.

I told Jaime I would be busy on Sunday when he asked if I wanted to go do something with him.

I never said I trusted him now.


	16. Chapter 16

_Narrator's POV:_

Walton was at the bar concentrating on his next move. He didn't buy a drink, and he wasn't planning on drinking for the night. He remembered his last visit with Alaric- yesterday. The first thing Alaric noticed was that Walton's hands were of a red tint.

_"Boy, what have you gotten yourself in- Oh yeah. It completely crossed my mind. Anyway, you know what day it is, huh?"_

_"Wed-nesday." _He smiled, answering in a sing-song voice.

_"That's right. One week left. So, ya gonna chicken out, creampuff?" _His voice was raspy and intimidating as always.

Walton had taken another drag and rolled his eyes. _"Please. They're not gonna know what hit them."_

_"Well until you 'hit them', you're nothin' but a creampuff." _Alaric laughed. It sounded more of an evil cackle.

Walton tried not to let anger get the best of him. Alaric was starting to become an annoying pest. He was eager to get this job done. He couldn't wait to pounce on his prey.

Alaric thought that all he was doing was creating shenanigans. However, Walton was planning. Everything must be done in a certain, precise way in order not to get caught. But Alaric just couldn't grasp that. He was impatient. He just wanted the dirtywork done.

* * *

_Shadow's POV:_

_Saturday_

I moaned when I heard my obnoxious alarm clock making racket at 8AM.

I blinked, opened my eyes, shut them tight, then blinked again. All I needed were four little paws walking on top of me excitedly.

"Support group thing." I mumbled sheepishly.

I rolled out of bed, checked my phone for messages, and took a sip of water. Then, I got dressed and went down to the kitchen. I could hear eggs sizzling on a pan and bread popping up from the toaster.

"Hey, Dad. When did you get up?"

"Good morning. I've been up for a while." He answered, looking back at me.

"Have you been crying?" I asked, wishing it wasn't my fault.

He knew he couldn't hide it and admitted that he had been earlier this morning. I sat down at the bar connected to the kitchen counter and looked over at Fox's food and water bowl. Dad hadn't put them up. They were still there, waiting.

"Are you looking forward to today?" Dad asked. He put a fried egg and a piece of toast on a plate and set in front of me.

I shrugged. "I don't know. Kinda." I went to therapy from when I was seven to twelve to help deal with my past in the shack. It helped me tremendously, but I didn't want to go back. I didn't want to know I still have a problem.

"You'll like it. I promise. I know you love learning new things." Dad said, standing and eating from across the bar.

Once we finished eating, we got in the car and drove to where I used to have therapy.

"Why are we here?"

"Mrs. Hochberg is in charge of it. We'll go in, and I'll show you." Dad said after we parked. We walked into the waiting room I had seen twice a week for four and a half years. The light blue armchairs were aligned on the wall just like I remembered and the same fish tank was by the front desk. But now the walls were painted bright orange, not a light green. I sat down near the entrance and waited for Dad to finish signing me in at the front desk. He came back and pointed to the hallway at our left.

"See all those doors down that hallway? The entire right side of it is for groups like the one you're about to go to."

"Really?" There were only five rooms and a janitor closet at the very end.

"Yeah. Each room is for a different type of therapy group. Bullying and self esteem issues, eating disorders, bad habits like drugs, traumatic events and family problems like divorce- things like that." Dad explained. "Devon said you can go ahead and go on in. It starts in about five minutes anyway."

"Do I have to go?"

"Yes. I want you to. Go. Mrs. Hochberg can't wait to see you. I'm going to the store. I'll be back at 11 before it ends, alright?" He gave me a kiss on the head before he left. _Not in public, Dad. Sheesh._ I stood up and walked down the hallway. On the second door down, I looked at the plaque template next to the door. **Bullying and Self Esteem: 9AM-11AM**

_This is it. _I opened the door. There was a circle of chairs in a light green room. There was an easel in the corner, along with diagrams, pamphlets, and notebooks. The floor was tan carpet, which I guessed is supposed to make the room more comfortable. There were seven teenagers already sitting down in the room. They all looked at me, and I felt like I was in some sort of spotlight.

"Shadow, hi! How are you?" Mrs. Hochberg asked as she pulled me into a hug. "How've you been?"

"O- Okay. I think."

The room went into an immediate uproar. Two of the teens walked up to me, both girls. "Oh my gosh, you're Shadow! I'm a huge fan!" One of the girls pulled me into a hug. I was in shock. "I have fans?"

"You're James Maslow's son!"

"Are you going to be an actor when you grow up?" The other one asked.

"I'd like to be an air traffic controller..."

"Why are _you _here? How could you be bullied?!" One of the guys farthest from me asked.

"Alright, everyone. Please sit down. I will introduce you all to him." Mrs. Hochberg said, setting her hands on my shoulders and leading me to the chair to the right of her.

She introduced me to each person: Willie, Michaela, Lucas, Jake, Charlotte, Rebecca, Cora, Isa, and Ellie. I could automatically guess why most of them were bullied just by looking at them. Cora and Rebecca were overweight, Jake looked like an educated individual too, and Isa had heterochromia. They all seemed really nice and enjoyed my company greatly.

"Why don't we start off today by starting with you." Mrs. Hochberg volunteered me, getting up to open up the blinds to let light in before sitting back down.

I nodded. I felt more comfortable with these people. If they spilled their secrets too and trusted one another, the least I could do was, well, do the same.

I messed with my sweaty palms as I spoke. "My name is Shadow, and I'm fourteen, almost fifteen. I lived in a house with my mom and dad. My mom died when I was three or four. Or maybe it was- But anyway, that left me with my real dad, A- Alaric Davis who...was abusive and other...Let's just say I didn't have fun there." The air was cold and the room was still. I tried not to choke up, but it was difficult. "But then when I was six, James Maslow found me and took me in. He's always told me that...that being a dad is not about being related or anything like that. It's about who takes care of you and who loves you. Everything has been pretty great ever since...until around the time middle school." I didn't know if I've gone over some sort of time limit or something, but Mrs. Hochberg didn't say anything, so I continued. "I've been bullied for the way I dress and have been called a nerd too. I've tried to ignore them, but it's tough. There has been a lot of stress in my mind lately, and...on Wednesday, I tried to..."

"Kill yourself?" Ellie asked, leaning forward in her chair.

"Yeah. However, I felt a lot better after reading a few verses of Psalms."

"You know, Robert Frost once said that the best way out is to go through. You said you tried ignoring them, and that's a good thing. But wouldn't it be better to face them?" Willie asked.

"It depends on what you mean by 'face them'. It would be better to stand up for yourself and tell them to stop than to get into a fight with them." Mrs. Hochberg explained.

"You're very brave, Shadow. I think you are." Said Willie.

"Thank you."

"Why would you try to commit suicide? You're loved beyond belief. Don't you know how many twitter followers you have? I'm sure everyone at your school is just jealous." Said Charlotte, one of the girls that had come up to me earlier.

"Yeah, I think you're right." I had forgotten about my quarter million twitter followers. Maybe she was right. I'd feel like a fool if she was.

"I regret trying to." I said.

"I don't understand," Jake began, "Why would being a nerd be a _bad _thing? Shouldn't we all want to be smart and educated?"

A few of us nodded, and I heard Isa giggle.

Because of time, each person was given ten minutes to give their story, thoughts, things they learned, etc. They each went over for me how long they've been here and why and then shared how they've been doing. I especially felt bad for Rebecca. Her Dad died when she was eight. She was (and still is) already sensitive as it was/is. Apparently she cried a lot in and out of school which made her an "easy target".

Near the end, Mrs. Hochberg passed out small notebooks that were all different colors: yellow, pink, orange, white, black, blue, purple, red, brown, and green. She handed the black one to me. Of course.

"Why did you give us journals, Mrs. Hochberg?" Michaela asked.

"These aren't notebooks, Michaela. These are places to confess your struggles and fears without judgment or punishment. They are places to write your feelings in order to understand them more clearly. They will be your new best friends. You can write anything. You can even share with us what you've written next time we meet- if you wish. My sister-in-law says journaling has helped her tremendously." She explained. "Do any of you already write?"

Ellie and Isa raised their hands.

"Does writing my own research papers count?" Jake asked.

"Uh...Not- not really."

"Oh."

Then everyone gave me a hug, and I told them I couldn't wait for Tuesday. Finally I had more than one friend. Good, true, kind friends.

Just as Dad had promised, he came back and was waiting for me. We both got back to the car, and he asked how everything went. I explained why I had a notebook and what happened.

"I think so. That's cool. Smart too."

"And I got three girl's phone numbers."

He fist-bumped my knuckles before pulling out of the parking lot. "That's my boy."

* * *

**Unfortunately, I just started school and won't be able to write a new chapter for a while because I'll be very busy. :( I'm sorry! Anyway, I hope you guys are having a good school year, college year, or, heck, a good day shuffleboarding and playing "spin the pill container" with your elderly buddies. :P**


	17. Chapter 17

_Thursday_

_Shadow's POV:_

_Cause: Because Colten did not follow dress coded, he's in his usual muscle shirt._

_Effect: A trail of girls behind him, gawking._

I really didn't understand girls. Colten's such a jerk! How do women adore him simply because he's buff?

I put my pencil down and slipped my journal into my backpack after the bell rang and headed for lunch.

I went through the lunch line and was trying to mind my own business. Colten had just stepped into the crowded room. I focused my attention back to the task at hand and used a wide tong to get salad onto my tray. I was moving along towards the other end of the line when I felt something tough and warm bump my arm. It was a rare warmth that I had felt before only from Dad's touch. I looked to my left, almost choking on my own spit. Colten. Why on earth was he standing next to me? Involuntarily, our eyes met. We quickly turned away, and I could've sworn I heard him, above the loud sounds of trays banging and chattering teens, groan. Immediately, he stepped out of line and headed straight for the cashier, cutting in front of everyone. He grabbed a carton of milk out of the bin without even looking as he did. He had nothing but an apple and milk.

_Why did he just ignore me? Normally he shoves me out of his way or something. He's acted a lot different around me ever since that day..._

I got the food I wanted, paid for it, and was headed for the stalls like I usually do since no one really wants to sit with me. Out of the corner of my eye, I could've sworn I saw Colten staring at me from where he was sitting with his friends. I pretended to ignore him and didn't look over at his table. Instead, I continued to stride out of the cafeteria.

* * *

**Okay, so I decided to stop here. I decided to make this a little more interesting...**

**You've read the (in total) 47 chapters of James's and Shadow's lives. I've typed up what I think would happen, but I would like to know what YOU think. You don't even have to tell me, but what do you think will happen next? What's going to happen in the end in your version? I've always hated reading stories where there's something in it that I wish I could change.**

**I don't know if this decision is cheesy or stupid to you. If it is, let me know. I'll probably go ahead and write the ending anyway, don't worry. However, I wanna see how this all plays out.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Wassup! :) I got a few messages in my inbox about the ending. You are all very creative. :) But anywho, I said I'd probably post more chapters, and, well, I am. By the way I tried to make this as believable and realistic as I could, but this chapter is tough. And sorry if I wasn't too descriptive or made the story flow a little too fast. Enjoy and please review! **

* * *

_Thursday night; 10PM_

_Narrator's POV:_

Colten angrily dried his moppy hair and got dressed into his clothes he had on. "I'm out...asshole!" He hollered to Oliver who was playing video games in Colten's room. Oliver was going to spend the night at his house since there was inservice tomorrow, meaning there wouldn't be school.

Colten had made strawberry daiquiris, and Oliver poured his over Colten's head as a "joke". But to him, he was being nothing but chickenshit. He was rinsing his hair out thoroughly, mixed thoughts swarming through his head. He thought about the time when he was 10 and Oliver and the others convinced him that horny meant that he was excited or happy about something. He thought about how thick, shiny, coarse, and long Shadow's black hair was and the way it perfectly shaped his spotless face. He thought about football and how he surprisingly got an A+ on his science project. Then, he thought about how Shadow was a clean slate with no imperfections except for maybe in that mind of his. He thought about how his friends had convinced him to do something that kills 443,000 people a year- smoking. He thought about the time Shadow had a breakdown when Oliver stole his dead mother's Bible simply for his sick, twisted entertainment.

He felt sick to his stomach. He felt the need for a cigarette. Perhaps the smell of the dank bathroom was getting to him. After he lifted his shirt up over his head, he banged his forehead over and over again with the palm of his hand. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" He hissed to himself. Once a few seconds of silence was over, he sighed heavily. "Fuck...a duck. Two of 'em!"

He opened the bathroom door, and cool air wafted into his lungs as he breathed in. He heard upbeat music from the video game. Colten trudged into his room and found that the game had been paused and that there was no Oliver in sight. So he ran to the kitchen and called his name. He wasn't there either.

_He couldn't have just gotten up and left! _He yelled in his mind.

Still, he checked every room in the house, the front and backyard, and even sneaked into his parents' bedroom while they were fast asleep. When he found out that Oliver's stuff was gone too, anger burned inside him.

"Did he steal something?!" He worriedly whispered, his voice raising in pitch as he spoke. He growled.

He didn't care.

In fact, he was glad Oliver was gone. After all, he needed to clear his mind. Colten grabbed his phone and his dad's car keys and left the house, shutting the front door with a loud slam.

He only had a learner's permit, but he didn't care. The truck came to life with a loud roar. He pulled out his pack of cigs and a lighter from the glove compartment and lit it, then drove out from the driveway. He wanted to settle his thoughts at Tracie's Place, his aunt's restaurant north of his house. It always closed at 11, so that'd hopefully give him enough time to figure things out. Problem was- what exactly was he trying to figure out?

* * *

_Narrator's POV:_

Carter stared at the dog's collar tag that had fallen in between the seats of his car. He took a deep breath of the sandy, beachy air around him and listened to the crickets chirp slower than normal. He's never done a task so personal to people so young. It had always been because of money, not revenge. However, he was about to do it; and, for some reason, his stomach was turning into knots. He had never felt this way before either. At first, he hesitated. But then he pushed the fear to the back of his mind, called Alaric, and stepped into the truck.

* * *

_Shadow's POV:_

I was beginning to get ready for bed, first brushing my knotted hair twice due to the fact it was so thick. I laid my brush down and walked up to Dad who was unloading the dishwasher. "I- I've come to the conclusion that...Fox is...dead."

He didn't look up at me until I had said, "Fox is...dead." It was easy to tell Dad was drained of vitality.

"Don't think like that." He ordered plainly with a hint of begging in his voice. He plodded toward me and randomly lifted up my jacket sleeves. He examined my wrists, noticing I haven't made a cut since last time he checked. "Good job." He whispered with a fake smile.

"You okay, Dad?"

He chuckled. "I'm fine." He was still holding my wrists and staring at them intensely. "I had a feeling you'd do this one day."

"Do what?" I think I knew.

"This." He said, gently squeezing my wrists.

"Really?" I said.

He nodded.

"You're scaring me. You're not in a good mood at all. It's my fault, isn't it?" I asked as I slowly pulled my hands away and rolled the sleeves down.

"What?! Of course not! I'm just tired. Nothing could be your fault, bud." He answered, giving me a pat on the back. "I have some good news, though."

I restrained myself from gulping. "Hm?"

'I've been think'n...what do you think of private school?"

My fingers grew dead. "Private school?" My brain couldn't comprehend if this sudden tsunami of news was good or bad.

"Yup. I think it would be a good place for you in high school. It's safer and you're much smarter than a public school.

"Wow. I don't know. It sounds pretty cool other than the uniforms."

"That's what I was thinking. I feel stupid for not doing it earlier."

"You're not stupid, Dad."

"No, but I am," he yawned, "Dang. I better head to bed. I can talk to you more about it tomorrow when I'm not too busy." He said as he took a few steps towards the hallway.

"Okay. Besides, we-"

"Ssh! Did you hear that?!" He interrupted, raising an eyebrow. We both froze, and I couldn't hear a sound.

My stomach lurched when loud, powerful pows echoed throughout the house. Without thinking, I screamed and ducked, trembling in the process. It took a few seconds for my brain to realize these were gunshots. I shut my eyes tight, waiting for it all to be over. The sound wasn't dying down. I felt numb, knowing that a bullet could easily race through one of us. Or both of us. I held my breath, not moving and trying to distract my mind from this horrific moment that could not possibly be true.

This was the wrath of Alaric, and we both knew it.

I felt my hair wave in the air and I gasped and let out a sob. It was so close.

There were too many shots to count. My ears felt clouded from the noise. It reminded me of the time Alaric shot at the ceiling when he was drunk.

Silence.

I gasped. Before I could figure out what to do next, what exactly was going on around me, and if one of us was even hurt, I heard faint drops and saw red on the floor in my peripheral vision.


	19. Chapter 19

**You all better like this chapter...I was typing, forgot to save what I had, and yeah- had to rewrite 1/3 of everything. I feel like death. But anyway...(sigh).**

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_Colten's POV:_

I slowly turned the volume-knob of the truck's old radio down. I felt tired, but my mind just couldn't accept that. There wasn't one iota of my mind that wasn't screwed up right now. I drove through the pitch black backroads. The main streets were too busy with traffic, but here I had to drive slow to watch for deer. Oh well. Fuck.

Out of nowhere, I heard loud gunshots and I jumped. A painful sensation burned in my heart, and my breath rasped in my throat. I accidentally let go of the wheel, and with shaky palms, I desperately grasped for it as I swerved into a small ditch. As I cursed under my breath, the gunshots finally ceased. I heard the loud rumbling, revving sound of another truck. I unbuckled and attempted to open the door. When it wouldn't open, I climbed across the seats and got out through the passenger door. Trees were scattered everywhere, and among them was a light blue house with a veranda and deck attached to it. I froze when I heard shrieking coming from such a beautiful house. My body was shaking now and I couldn't move. My body was like a concrete slab. What the hell was happening?! I snapped out of my trance, knowing I shouldn't just stand there, mouth open. At that point, my heart was pounding so fast, I clutched my shirt. I pulled out my phone and dialed 911, sprinting for the house with all my might. I told the dispatcher all that was going on. As I described where I was, I pounded on the front door with my fist. Well, more like trying to break it open.

"Hello? Hello?! Is everything okay?! Hey!" I yelled.

_What the heck am I doing?! _I asked myself. How could I possibly get myself wrapped up in this situation at this very moment?

Just when I was about to charge at the door, it came flying open.

I dropped the phone.

Shadow.

Shadow Maslow.

His name reverberated in my head so loud, I practically zoned out.

Just as his name did in my ears, the gunshots reverberated in Shadow's.

"Sha-duh...uh." I was speechless.

Shadow was bawling, clutching the end of his shirt. When he saw it was me, he backed away, hyperventilating.

"N- No, no! It's okay. I'm hear to help. I-" I put my hand on his shoulder, drawing him into a hug until I spotted a man on the floor, surrounded in his own blood. I ran towards him, having to deal with him first before dealing with Shadow's current panic attack. I knelt down.

There on the ground in front of me was James Maslow. The blood was coming from his right upper arm. Blood was already covering my hands and knees. I took off my forest green muscle shirt, wadded it up, and placed it over the wound.

"Shadow, come over here." I coaxed.

He was gasping and wheezing and didn't move an inch towards me. He was covering his face. But I could tell his entire face was red.

"Fuck, Shadow, you gotta come here now!" I ordered sternly.

So he ran toward us and knelt down next to James.

"Put pressure on his arm. It'll lessen the bleeding." I placed my ear over his chest and felt his stomach. "He's not breathing."

Shadow was sobbing even harder now. I knew I shouldn't have told him, but then he probably wouldn't have understood what I was about to do. I cupped James's head in my hands. I raised my leg over to the opposite side of him to where I was kneeling over him. I drew a long breath and breathed into his mouth and nose, lips locked like a romantic kiss. I heard Shadow yelp, but he didn't do anything.

I gently lay my hand over his stomach and felt his diaphragm ever so slowly rise and fall. I slowly got off of him, his head still resting in my hands.

"I'll keep pressure on it. Go get a pillow!" Before I finished speaking, Shadow was already bringing one towards me. He collapsed in front of me and started sobbing even harder than he was before. He dropped the pillow and rested his head on the hard wood floor. He was getting light-headed.

"Shadow, it's alright. Calm down, please..." I didn't know what else to say as I grabbed the pillow and laid it under James's head.

"Shadow, calm down! Breathe!" Surprisingly, he slowly knelt up, trying to keep himself from collapsing and trying to take deep breaths.

"By the time we found any gauze, the ambulance should be here by then." I muttered as I stared at my crimson and green shirt. I wasn't sure what else to do in these precious seconds, so I rubbed circles on Shadow's back.

"It'll be okay as long as it didn't hit an arte-" I was interrupted by the loudest, most depressing cry I had ever heard in my life. Rubbing harder circles, I tried to keep back tears.

I remembered Shadow's Bible. "Shadow, pray."

I didn't believe in God, but I knew this would give him hope and calm him down somewhat. Shadow whispered something and then leaned his head against me.

"Stay with me, Shadow. It's going to be alright. I promise." I whispered into his beautiful hair. I knew I shouldn't have promised, but it wouldn't matter if it became broken because I've already done so much crap to his life. I felt so guilty, but I hoped this would make up for it.

"R-R-Really?!"

"Yes, yeah. I promise."

Deep gasps and sobs erupted from his throat. I realized how bad I had really been treating Shadow. I regretted it. Someone had a twisted, horrendous purpose for shooting at their house. I never realized how sad Shadow's life really was. I wish I had never met him so that I could have never inflicted pain on him.

Distant sirens came approaching until four paramedics and four police officers came running into the house.


	20. Chapter 20

_Shadow's POV:_

I remembered the pads of the man's fingers ever so gently moving along my injured back. I had a feeling he would do something to me that wasn't good. I had thought...how could James just sit there and watch the man dressed in white do this to me? I was still so confused of where my real dad was. I didn't know what James was doing, but I wanted the people to go away. I wanted it all to stop. I was afraid to fight the man. He would've hurt me, wouldn't he? Scared straight and so confused, I shut my eyes tight, deciding to wait for it all to be over with. I was used to what I had thought was going to happen next. I wanted to cry, but I was too afraid. All of this time, I was second-guessing James's friendship. Then I felt something warm and wet. I had wet the bed.

I was trying to break my thoughts from my past and stared down the hospital hallway, feeling like the only one in the hall when there were actually dozens of people. Dad had told me that that doctor who was only trying to help- what was his name? Dr. Langley? He had died of liver disease or something just a little over a year ago.

"Shadow-"

Alaric's aggressive voice calling my name echoed in my head and I jumped, stumbling as I reached for the wall and fell in the process.

"Shadow? You okay?" Colten asked, his burly and tall figure towering over me.

My head felt heavy. It was midnight after all. I staggered, leaning against the wall until I could pull myself together. "I'm at a hospital because James's been shot? Then not really."

"Did you just call your dad by his real name?"

I grasped my head. "Huh?" I didn't even realize it. I guess since Alaric had been in my mind...

I was arguing with myself. James is my real father. Not Alaric- never, ever, ever!

"Never ev- what are you talking about?" Colten laid his hand on my shoulder. "You tired?"

I must've said that last part out loud. Didn't even realize that either. Ugh.

"Yeah." I sighed.

"How many-"

I glared at him. "Three."

"...Good."

A security guard came walking down the hall at a fast pace. We quickly pulled out our visitor's passes and swung them in his direction.

He glowered at us. "What room are you to look'n for?"

"J- James Maslow's, sir. The lady at the front desk didn't tell us-"

"There are tons of people and reporters outside in the parking lot! How'd _you two_ manage to get a visitor's pass?!" He was baffled, snatching Colten's pass from his hand.

"I- I'm his son, and this is my friend. He saved...he saved his life." I looked up at Colten with content with those last words. The guard huffed. _"Riight. _Whatever." He handed the pass back to him and stomped away.

"I don't think he believed us." Colten murmured.

I shrugged. "I wish he would've at least told us Dad's room number."

We stood around for a few minutes, trying to figure out where he could be.

"Shadow! There you are!" I turned around and saw Kendall. He was running over to us and pulled me into a big bear hug.

"Where have you been?! We've been worried!" Kendall's face was red and had obviously been crying.

"We've been looking for James's room, but we couldn't find it." Colten told him.

"Yeah." I agreed.

"Oh, well...I can show you. I was just there. I've been looking for you."

"How is he?!" I asked, tears beginning to form my eyes again.

"He's still alive. He wasn't awake though. Your grandparents are here too. So are Phillip, Logan, Kevin...Kenneth, Dustin, Logan...Carlos, Alexa, and Halston."

"Halston?" I asked. I haven't seen her in, well, I don't think I've ever seen her.

"Wait- Halston? Halston Sage?" Colten asked, eyes getting bigger.

"Yeah."

He whistled. "Sweet."

Kendall stared at him, "Y-eah...and there's a man named Officer Knox who's there waiting for you."

My stomach lurched. "Oh...okay."

As we walked down the dull yet creepy halls of the hospital, my thoughts kept on going in all directions the closer we got. I wasn't sure if I could bare to see all of those grieving people and Dad, lying there in hospital clothes, having the risk of dying at any moment. The thought overwhelmed me again, and I started to cry for the fifth time that night. I felt circles being rubbed on my back. I turned to my right. Colten. I just wanted to lean back and embrace the circles, but there were more important things at the moment. Obviously.

"Here we are." Kendall said quickly as he turned the knob.

My breath was caught in my throat. "Wait."

He stopped.

"I- I don't- I don't..."

"You don't what?"

"I- I-" I stared at the floor and a fresh new wave of tears washed over me.

"You don't want to go in?"

"I don't think I- can." I hiccupped, not looking at the door, shaking my head, eyes closed. I couldn't see Dad like that. Not in a hospital bed. I knew something was wrong. My heart was beating so loud, I was getting worried for my own self. I felt nauseated and my mouth was completely dry. My legs felt like pudding under me, and I clutched onto Colten's shirt, leaning myself into him.

_Please make it stop! _I wanted to tell Colten.

The door flew open, and there was Grandpa, staring at us. He must've heard us from outside the room. I didn't look up at him; I refused to look at anything other than Colten, because he was the only one who was the strongest right now. I wanted to be anywhere other than here. I wanted Dad and Fox back.

I just want my family back.


	21. Chapter 21

_James's POV:_

I felt stiff and languid at the same time. I opened my eyes, feeling the reception of pain and thoughts coming to me. I knew immediately I was in a hospital room from the color of the walls and the sounds to the feeling that other people were in the room. I made the slightest move and felt an excruciating stabbing pain in my right arm. Aching pain mixed with a deep burning sensation, my subconscious knew that letting out a scream wouldn't be enough to stop it.

But I did it anyway. I yelled out in agony as loud as my voice could. I couldn't help it. I did it without even thinking. It was so painful and I shrieked so deafening, my lower back was off the bed. I shut my eyes so tight it hurt. I felt a hand clasp over my mouth and another on my forehead. I couldn't stop whimpering; it was involuntary.

"James, honey, are you okay? Call one of the nurses!" My eyes were still shut but I could hear it was Mom's voice.

Hot tears streamed down my face. I opened my eyes. My voice came out all slurred. "Where's, Where's Shadow?"

"I don't know, James. He's not here."

I knew that could only mean that Shadow was either in the morgue or alive. Or alive and kidnapped. I refused to wait around and find out later.

"Is he okay?"

Mom took her hand off my forehead. "Baby, I don't know! Carlos tried driving to your house but your street was blocked off."

I heard my own heart monitor beating faster.

"I have to-" I tried to sit up, completely forgetting my condition. I screamed again, the same pain shooting through my arm. I felt another hand on my mouth only this time harder. I moaned, still in so much pain that was too great to bear. I shut my eyes again. This was too hard.

"James, you need to calm down! We're sure he's fine, but there's nothing you can do! You're _hurt_! You won't be doing you or anyone else a favor if you try and save him, because it won't _work_!"

There was a long pause. I looked up into my father's eyes. "But I- I- I've always been there for him...He needs me." I said, gasping from sudden shots of pain. My stomach was in knots and I felt like I was going to dry heave at any moment.

I heard the door open and nurses and doctors entered.

"I know, son. I'm sorry. Kendall's searching for him right now."

I heard racket coming from the other side of the door. Dad left my side, and before I could ask what was wrong, the doctors and nurses were hovering over me.

It took me a while before I realized like 10 other people were in the room.

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_Shadow's POV:_

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!" I stumbled to the ground and felt a bunch of people trying to hold me up. I heard incoherent words from Grandpa and Kendall and someone else's voice I couldn't quite make out.

"Take him to the cafeteria, and let him calm down until he's ready," Grandpa ordered Colten, "You think you can do that?"

"Yes, sir." Colten replied.

"I'll follow." An officer said. She was a short, middle-aged woman with dirty-blonde hair.

_I thought Kendall said the officer was a man?_

I felt my legs sweeped up from under me. I opened my eyes and, through all the blurriness, saw that I was in Colten's arms.

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**Yes, I realize this is a VERY short chapter. I was debating on whether I should type up another chapter this weekend or not. I wish I could've made the scene where James wakes up a little more descriptive. I have a very busy day ahead of me, so, yeah. Anyway, hope you all are having a great Saturday!**


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